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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 16

    Widower Just Doesn’t Have Energy To Waltz With Dead Wife’s Dress Tonight https://trib.al/j028VEA pic.twitter.com/YxkwafgibK

    8:20 PM - 16 Mar 2018
    • 97 Retweets
    • 857 Likes
    • liv🌞 nothing creative Pierre-Simon Laplace Holly Herda timgor (send belly pics not politics) Sickle Sally PIER SCHULZ goatse 2020 The Blare Witch
    21 replies 97 retweets 857 likes
      1. The Jazz Slinger‏ @guitaaron75 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Man, you actually made me feel sorry for him.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Back In St. Olaf...‏ @brevolve Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        FFS lol!! I guess you gotta go super dark sometimes

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Eugene Windchy‏ @Histryluvr Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Polaris‏ @Polaris501 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dark

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Power2ThaDigitalPpl‏ @Chingchongman23 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We should not have this problem in modern day America if we legalized necromancy #AMERICA #MAGA

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. EJ Hinojosa‏ @ejhinojosa Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yikes, @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. FULL THROTTLE AXOLOTL‏ @threesnails Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        holy shit

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Dr. Caternet Pumpkin‏ @nowthethingis Mar 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #toofarpic.twitter.com/UP9GYen5rV

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Mar 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He will watch the new Ricky Gervais special on Netflix instead.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ragnar‏ @Riskarr5 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Poor fella.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. chris s‏ @hugoobrock Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I still to this day, walk my dead dog at the dismay of my neighbors but I own the upper hand...they can't yell at me that my dog shit on their lawn. again. No bags required.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kimmy P‏ @shocKimmy Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Didn't you tweet something very similar to this a few weeks ago?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JPo‏ @JPo12 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Then maybe just Netflix and chill tonight.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. no-respect‏ @CapulettiM Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        you can do better onion. this doesn't feel right.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Anthony Hernandez‏ @trinisteeler Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Take a swig of that 5min drink and go for it!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Eddie Phoenix‏ @EddiePhoenix87 Mar 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "he needs to get laid..big time"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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