Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 15

    Automakers Ask Nation If It Still Wants That Handle Above Car Windows https://trib.al/2sMhJuj pic.twitter.com/BLklbJy8Eo

    6:29 AM - 15 Mar 2018
    • 132 Retweets
    • 969 Likes
    • surya bhae nothing creative Pierre-Simon Laplace timgor (send belly pics not politics) Pauline Oliver Levon Jody Williams Tate Squig cum flavored
    44 replies 132 retweets 969 likes
      1. Derek Klinetobe‏ @DerekKlinetobe Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ride In the car with my wife. You want this false sense of security.

        0 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Jeff Cope‏ @jeff_cope Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Gotta have some place to hang the dry cleaning.

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Just Chase‏ @the013dude Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How about that little pocket above their right have pants pocket? Who still uses that?

        4 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Alex Brandsen‏ @alex_brandsen Mar 15
        Replying to @the013dude @TheOnion

        I do, for USB sticks!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Philip Deeter‏ @DeeterRuns Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Actually, my mom, who has limited mobility, relies on it to get into the car.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Maniacal Ventures (Colin)‏ @ManiacalV Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The "Oh shit!" handle?

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Olivia R‏ @olive629 Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We called it the "oh sh!t" handle growing up 😅😅

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. ArtDesignMusic‏ @Wonderwoman1fan Mar 15
        Replying to @olive629 @TheOnion

        So did we!!! Hahahaha😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Nick Zea-Smith‏ @nickzeasmith Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If you're in an accident and the vehicle is on its side, handles assist swift exit...

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ruth Beach‏ @RuthBeachInk Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You mean the "Jesus handle?" yes, we do.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Lindsay Laugh‏ @LindsayLaughed Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @StuartMaconie

        Is this real? Then... yes, as a disabled person I use it all the time to help me get out & if my son's driving then, bloody hell, I use it to hang on to for dear life!

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Stuart Maconie‏ @StuartMaconie Mar 15
        Replying to @LindsayLaughed

        No it’s a joke. But yes I can see that it’s useful. I find myself holding on for something to do and people assume i’m nervous about their driving!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Kuno‏ @SailorSupernova Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We can't lose the "oh shit" handle. What will parents hold on to when they're teaching their kids to drive and fearing for their lives?

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Ruth Beach‏ @RuthBeachInk Mar 15
        Replying to @SailorSupernova @TheOnion

        yes. we call it the "Jesus" handle for that reason.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. David Agrell‏ @DAgrell Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It should be attached with Velcro only, for laughs

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dac Cederberg‏ @DacCederberg Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A vehement YES. I need something to grabbbb

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Freddie_Eff‏ @Freddie_Eff Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm also tired of covering up those yellow warning stickers they glue on the sun visors.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jonathan Sturm‏ @jesturm Mar 15
        Replying to @_elsagrace @TheOnion

        Until the day I die!!!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info