Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 14

    Construction Union Seeks To Reduce Incidence Of Accidents Involving Babies Crawling On Steel I-Beams https://trib.al/4IGKjvt pic.twitter.com/pCbM7US4w5

    11:55 AM - 14 Mar 2018
    • 140 Retweets
    • 907 Likes
    • Pierre-Simon Laplace 🌹 Sam and 21 others Levi Aaron Robison Rory Greg Dizzy Miss Lizzy frizbyman
    19 replies 140 retweets 907 likes
      1. Adam Stone‏ @adamstonevt Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ban babies

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Swiftie®Paulie‏ @SwiftiePaulie Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion @KingHoltie

        Does that baby have a union card? Labor’s concerns

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Adam Hoffman‏ @FolkTaleGeek Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Swee’ Pea, no!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. b “sometimes, dead is better” gwynn - (bwynn)‏ @bwynn_dev Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Little one doesn’t even have a safety harness on... won’t someone think of the children?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Milo and Akouo ⛸‏ @rarewolfking Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Use jet fue..... oh shit

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. nick‏ @rednw100 Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @savillekatz

        You turn your back to get their bottle and off they go climbing on steel beams again......everyday having to climb up and rescue toddler Tim....

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Left of Left‏ @dmorgan3_david Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Simple, just require hard hats.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ResistNashVegas‏ @acreworks Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s about time. We’ve been silent about this epidemic for far too long.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Occam's Razorback‏ @janeite1900 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Give the steel beams guns to protect the babies.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stan Lee Cup‏ @MuzzMuzzington Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds like industry killing regulation to me!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Michael Bandy‏ @michaelbandy83 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wonder what @Teamsters angle is here.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lee Takamiya‏ @leet793 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Easy solution is to make the I-beams out of some other material.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Long Duck Dong‏ @Gotti525 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hopefully, it's the woman holding up the suspension beam, while the dad is out working....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. I Voted -  🌊‏ @AlaricCDX Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If steel beams had an NRA equivalent, it would be arguing for the rights of babies to crawl on steel beams.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Shane Champagne‏ @SeaSalt1984 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not for the safety of the infants, mind you; just the unsuspecting adults who are trying to restrain the child as they become unfortunate victims to every random instance of falling anvils, tilting ladders, and nail guns that shoot in a melodic rhythm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lame. Real steel workers can slip on baby poo and stay on the beam.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stein Bagger‏ @stein_bagger Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why this is allowed at all in the first place, is mind boggling....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Frobish Von Flichtenstein‏ @bigmar98 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Please tell me Mr. Magoo will be in charge of this effort!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info