Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 14

    New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired https://trib.al/9c61OPZ pic.twitter.com/OmTkgXxa2O

    This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
    8:26 AM - 14 Mar 2018
    • 3,787 Retweets
    • 13,190 Likes
    • ᛉ Lord Hastur ᛉ Crustacians Aberrant Harpooner Lasrrr Noah Ruschak 🥛 Jack Parker The Spookster Reginald Harper ʙʀᴇᴛᴛ ᴄᴏᴏᴘᴇʀ
    353 replies 3,787 retweets 13,190 likes
      1.  🎃Spooky Lily 🎃‏ @TaigaLily_ Mar 14
        Replying to @TetrologyReal @TheOnion

        Replace killing with firing and it's more-or-less what's happening

        2 replies 2 retweets 37 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Tanya Snyder‏ @TSnyderDC Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny.

        27 replies 0 retweets 37 likes
      3. Minim‏ @Cabbage_Rider Mar 14
        Replying to @TSnyderDC @TheOnion

        I agree, it's not funny. It's hilarious.

        1 reply 1 retweet 314 likes
      4. Tweet unavailable
      5. Scott Daniel‏ @ScottDaniel Mar 14
        Replying to @DasSchmags212 @Cabbage_Rider and

        That's what the right thinks the left wants.

        12 replies 0 retweets 78 likes
      6. Maize Groyper‏ @Corn_Groyper Mar 14
        Replying to @ScottDaniel @DasSchmags212 and

        pic.twitter.com/ucqojQRP7E

        2 replies 1 retweet 30 likes
      7. Annoyed Online‏ @Green_Smartie1 Mar 14
        Replying to @Corn_Groyper @ScottDaniel and

        Isn't this just a joke in poor taste though? Unless the guy has a history of advocating murder of people I don't see this as being proof of anything.

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      8. Maize Groyper‏ @Corn_Groyper Mar 14
        Replying to @Green_Smartie1 @ScottDaniel and

        I wish I could an inspire you to desire vision. This is a simple picture of leftist ideology, simply proof of what the other guy insisted was a falsehood. This, or you could educate yourself about the bloodshed of the 20th century.

        2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      9. Annoyed Online‏ @Green_Smartie1 Mar 14
        Replying to @Corn_Groyper @ScottDaniel and

        It doesn't reflect leftist ideology. And you didn't even answer my question; does the individual in this interview have a history of advocating the murder of people?

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      10. 7 more replies
      1. Undead Fred‏ @Mrmordo85 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow, new leaks on from googles HR

        0 replies 4 retweets 154 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Jack Birky‏ @jack_birky Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Imagine if the roles were reversed. Imagine how mad people would get if this same tweet was posted, but it was black people getting killed.

        6 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
      3.  🎃H̗̳̰E̺̻̠L̜̤̮̝̯̤L̺͕̤͈E̫̞̙̘P̻̺͎͎̪͈̖H̱O̠N͕̫̪E̦̼ 🎃‏ @HOTELEPHONE Mar 14
        Replying to @jack_birky @TheOnion

        R/whoosh

        1 reply 1 retweet 68 likes
      4.  🎃H̗̳̰E̺̻̠L̜̤̮̝̯̤L̺͕̤͈E̫̞̙̘P̻̺͎͎̪͈̖H̱O̠N͕̫̪E̦̼ 🎃‏ @HOTELEPHONE Mar 14
        Replying to @HOTELEPHONE @jack_birky @TheOnion

        At 100 likes should I explain the joke to him?

        3 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Jack  🕊‏ @WarGuilt Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i thought the onion was satire?

        3 replies 4 retweets 190 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1.  ✨ ❄️Winter J 🌑elstice ❄️ ✨‏ @JoelCieslak Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        SJWs are like, "OK, it's a start"

        0 replies 3 retweets 90 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. crusty knees‏ @goodbye_avery Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        the replies to this from right wingers are half people who don't get what the onion is and half millennial alt-righters who don't understand they're the ones being made fun of

        8 replies 1 retweet 23 likes
      3. Ahmad Rasheedle‏ @rasheedle Mar 14
        Replying to @goodbye_avery @TheOnion

        Some lefties are too dense to comprehend reasonable people can have honest objections to our culture's cult-like obsession with diversity and multiculturalism and not be "alt right" or racist. Hiring people based on immutable characteristics is terrible for endless # of reasons.

        0 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info