Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 13

    White House Now Just Holding Continuous Going-Away Party For Departing Staffers https://trib.al/yPACfME pic.twitter.com/h19Ls0rk2i

    9:40 AM - 13 Mar 2018
    • 6,524 Retweets
    • 17,308 Likes
    • SUPERflix Movies 🎥 🤓 mark john conley Kate Wake up Britain or wake up Dead Alexander Douglas david from college🌹 Douglas Bentsen Deborah Round Jake Savage
    181 replies 6,524 retweets 17,308 likes
      1. Milton Fletcher‏ @mfletcher530 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @davidaxelrod

        I think I found a cake...pic.twitter.com/0DHRbuHSET

        0 replies 5 retweets 37 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Alex&Steve‏ @AlexandSteve Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Next week he appoints animalspic.twitter.com/6sDizXISjp

        4 replies 1 retweet 17 likes
      3. Rogue Donkey‏ @Sir_Toddington Mar 13
        Replying to @AlexandSteve @TheOnion

        They’ll all be dead since Trump is deregulating animal protections.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Big Daddy  🅿️ 1️⃣‏ @bryaninbigd Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's a line in the hallway with a sign about 10 feet from the door that says, "⬅️ At this point, your wait is approximately 20 minutes 🙂"

        1 reply 3 retweets 10 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Colleen Vawter‏ @colleenv123 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When the Onion becomes reality...

        0 replies 0 retweets 32 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brenda #IVoted‏ @bcarter0917 Mar 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @kstreet111

        Look like dunce hats. I wouldn’t attend if I were them.

        0 replies 3 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Andrew Wiggin‏ @AndrewWiggin502 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @Kris_Sacrebleu

        When the onion seems more believable than the truth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  💔Sherry 💔‏ @KiddKobalt Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those hats

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Trese  🌊 🌊‏ @LoverOfBooks123 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @JRubinBlogger

        As a group they could sing,” Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! OH, WHAT A RELIEF IT IS!”

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. DeathBecomesMe® 💀‏ @DeathBecomes_Me Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No chaos at all.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nightingale‏ @Mmayalabeille Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @davidaxelrod

        When there aren't enough party hats to go around.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. rhianna grace henson‏ @rhiannagraceh Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DarryLavid31

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. maxenxia‏ @DarryLavid31 Mar 14
        Replying to @rhiannagraceh @TheOnion

        i like the addition of the party horn on the end table

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Andrea Valentini  🇨🇦‏ @GypsySpirit46 Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This sums up the reality of @realDonaldTrump's #WhiteHouse staffing policiespic.twitter.com/eU6eMU4GMZ

        1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Truth Teller‏ @marthaHigh Mar 31
        Replying to @TheOnion @LindaLeeKing

        its okay, just relax

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lisa Wilkinson‏ @wilkinstern Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        the elastic strings holding the hats on is really a master stroke. Kudos to the art department on that one.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hunter‏ @surliergirl Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The real trump train... 🚂💩

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info