Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 13

    Morale Low At State Department After Only Employee Fired https://trib.al/hWSOJs7 pic.twitter.com/0VFvS4Qpu2

    8:13 AM - 13 Mar 2018
    • 1,886 Retweets
    • 6,409 Likes
    • RIP A$AP YAMS Ty Williams Meg 🌹 Luke Hodgson everett johnson Sebastian JT Crown Prince of Rubeville
    36 replies 1,886 retweets 6,409 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jennifer Sutton‏ @JenSutt6971 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @Gabriellegifted

        🤣🤣pic.twitter.com/cv84jFskkb

        3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. giftedgab‏ @Gabriellegifted Mar 13
        Replying to @JenSutt6971 @TheOnion

        Hehehe lookie here 👇 @TheOnion has the best coverage of this farce. Thank you @TheOnion, you do absurd in absurd timespic.twitter.com/r4E2Bj0SIY

        0 replies 3 retweets 12 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Travis‏ @Markoff_Cheney Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can we have just one day that isn't a total shitshow?

        2 replies 2 retweets 8 likes
      3. The_innkeeper‏ @keeper_of_inns Mar 13
        Replying to @Markoff_Cheney @TheOnion

        Nope.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. Travis‏ @Markoff_Cheney Mar 13
        Replying to @keeper_of_inns @TheOnion

        I need to get an actual alarm clock, then promise myself to not look at my phone until well after I already made it to work. Get an hour into the day before ruining it.pic.twitter.com/X0ytlOqYz4

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. The_innkeeper‏ @keeper_of_inns Mar 13
        Replying to @Markoff_Cheney @TheOnion

        I heard it on the radio on the way in. Phone had nothing to do with it. And then NPR ran with it for the rest of the drive.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Travis‏ @Markoff_Cheney Mar 13
        Replying to @keeper_of_inns @TheOnion

        Crap, I do listen to AM news radio on the way in as well.... I need to change some habits, this isn't healthy.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Uncivil 🌊Anne‏ @annejowrites Mar 13
        Replying to @Markoff_Cheney @keeper_of_inns @TheOnion

        I borrow audio books from the library and play them in the car. Much nicer than listening to the news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      8. End of conversation
      1. Brandon Nelson‏ @Article_1_fan Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @john_sipher

        Onion strays dangerously close to non-irony here.. 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Schrödinger's Trump thinks rape culture is garbage‏ @SchrodngrsTrump Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Writing for The Onion these days must be like hitting cantaloupes with a baseball bat.

        1 reply 0 retweets 26 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. The Lycanthropic Misadventures of Edward Banatt‏ @ArmaVirumque Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @kbeninato

        Problem solved! All is well again in the garden.https://www.wsj.com/articles/trumps-personal-assistant-is-fired-1520945928 …

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. The Lycanthropic Misadventures of Edward Banatt‏ @ArmaVirumque Mar 13
        Replying to @ArmaVirumque @TheOnion @kbeninato

        The Lycanthropic Misadventures of Edward Banatt Retweeted NBC Politics

        Sorry, Onion. Rule of threes?https://twitter.com/NBCPolitics/status/973595043360632832?s=20 …

        The Lycanthropic Misadventures of Edward Banatt added,

        NBC PoliticsVerified account @NBCPolitics
        JUST IN: Under Secretary of State Steve Goldstein is being fired for contradicting the account of Rex Tillerson’s dismissal, White House official tells @PeterAlexander
        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. AJ‏ @AJadoniz Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        now who's going to get Rex his coffee if Rex got fired?!

        1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Gary‏ @Luvz2Fly Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Had to check and make sure this was really The Onion

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Art Vandelay697‏ @ArtVand26638579 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/lrFUJvbLFi

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ian Cashman‏ @fauxleroid Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @ManMadeMoon

        Looks like Russia really does run America now. Worryingly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Benito Cheetolini, Esq.‏ @BenitoLilHands Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/MAQZsxMtjp

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. pjbusdiva  🌊 🌊 🌊‏ @pjbusdiva48 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @JoanieGentian

        Trump didn’t have the guts to fire Tillerson face to face,did the same thing to Comey this president is a spineless fake! #DontheCon!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info