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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 13

    Sad Man Tears 2 Bananas Off Larger Bunch https://trib.al/x2c2Tfx pic.twitter.com/CwTaIRz4z5

    5:37 AM - 13 Mar 2018
    • 269 Retweets
    • 1,770 Likes
    • Hugh Stockton もののけ姫 Annette Ford Just Sayian LODGE MUSIC PRODUCER prince clinton anna maxwell Garrett Harle J*㋡*E   *♋☼/♏☾*
    35 replies 269 retweets 1,770 likes
      1. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The horrors of war continue to rage on...pic.twitter.com/W16LBJG3al

        0 replies 2 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Amanda Gwinnup‏ @jocularAmanda Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/ZrBms0Bp6p

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. BKinD‏ @BKinDetroit Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I do this every time and I am not sad about it. Brown bananas is what makes me sad.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. C.M. Guthrie  🕳 🗝‏ @c_mguthrie Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He’s definitely at a Trader Joe’s.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tiffany Rose‏ @tifrose Mar 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He probably works for InstaCart and doesn't understand when people ask for 1 banana they are asking for a bunch @sir4545

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Instacart FSS‏ @InstaUsed Mar 14
        Replying to @tifrose @TheOnion @sir4545

        We call this the banana paradox. The Instacart app is set up so stupidly that the customers don't know what they are ordering. There's a picture of a bunch, but the price and weight refers to a single banana. We end up wrong either way.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Tiffany Rose‏ @tifrose Mar 14
        Replying to @InstaUsed @TheOnion @sir4545

        Can confirm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. infinite breadsticks‏ @eeeeaaaaaatggh Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        relatable :(

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Amanda Gwinnup‏ @jocularAmanda Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s a cry for help. Those bananas have a weeks worth of life left in them. Perhaps lonely man doesn’t expect to live that long

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Rahul Kudva‏ @RahulKudva Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds like an a-peel for help....

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Dewey‏ @dirtdogdewey Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow. Just wow. I'm completely imagining the story of this guy's life right now.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Adam Hoffman‏ @FolkTaleGeek Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As a single man who has done this to avoid owning brown bananas, I’m a little offended.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Fred‏ @that0therdude Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Please, get help. It's gets better. I promise. <3

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. DJ Nimbus‏ @FreestyleWild Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is the soft bigotry of low expectations 😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Horscroft‏ @forealiously Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel personally attacked.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. TomJCassidy‏ @TomJCassidy Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The bananaty of evil.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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