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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 9

    Biologists Still Uncertain About Evolutionary Function Of Ugly People https://trib.al/y94Yk1N pic.twitter.com/mjMRBMc8fZ

    10:41 AM - 9 Mar 2018
    • 317 Retweets
    • 1,698 Likes
    • Patty Green Al Dente inter-PECKS 💪 Selton Kullivan Dante Levon Cash Bendle Rosemary’s Robbie Gat Parrett’s Sh33pskin Emporium Pablo Shotez
    51 replies 317 retweets 1,698 likes
      1. Kyle Conner‏ @kyle_j_conner Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Leave us alone

        0 replies 0 retweets 58 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. dave miglin‏ @gim357 Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They were designed to run satirical newspapers and websites

        1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      3. CrowdSourcedSlav ✝️ 🇮🇪 🇭🇷‏ @1SickMick Mar 9
        Replying to @gim357 @TheOnion

        I think you’re on to something. There seems to be a direct correlation between beauty and a lack of snark, sarcasm, and irony which would make beautiful people unfit for satire. It takes a certain understanding of rejection to be so cynical.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Marc-Andre Dion‏ @madfe051 Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The best theory is that we are meant to be a food source for the fair folk.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. ash is kinda emo‏ @TwentyGayPilots Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That second girl isn't ugly tf

        2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. ash is kinda emo‏ @TwentyGayPilots Mar 9
        Replying to @TwentyGayPilots @TheOnion

        okay i posted this and 2 seconds after I got a notification "2 people have liked your reply"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. lofti‏ @yaboy_lofti Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My dad said he's going to come fight you guys over at The Onion for this. Say your last words now assholes.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. heleenaaxx‏ @heleenaxx Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it leads to talent and funniness

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Chef Michael Perry‏ @lcbchefperry Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can we get @Snopes to verify this?

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Steve45220‏ @steve45220 Mar 9
        Replying to @lcbchefperry @TheOnion @snopes

        Well...considering this is @snopes ...pic.twitter.com/gHZWggDnR7

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Gwen‏ @Its_very_very Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        something I can finally relate to

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Mark Darling‏ @imsodarling Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Big_Willie714 what if you were one of those people and you go check out your favorite website the onion and see your picture being used like this #ow

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. BeanThereDoneThat‏ @plastikspoon Mar 9
        Replying to @imsodarling @TheOnion @Big_Willie714

        Well, for starters, you could work on having more self-confidence

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Mark Darling‏ @imsodarling Mar 9
        Replying to @plastikspoon @TheOnion @Big_Willie714

        good advice. thanks for helping my ugly friend

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. John A. Owens‏ @JohnOwensKatman Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Easy: A) they make mediocre-looking people seem attractive by comparison, and B) lend themselves well to being used, since the users don't get attached. (But, the theory of evolution violates the 2nd LAW of thermodynamics, so it's junk)

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. Sean Gregory‏ @seancunnion Mar 9
        Replying to @JohnOwensKatman @TheOnion

        unless you're joking, you're mistaken on the last point.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. John A. Owens‏ @JohnOwensKatman Apr 23
        Replying to @seancunnion @TheOnion

        No. Not mistaken.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. Shawn Wallace‏ @swn140 Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        MAGA crowd has to come from somewhere

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Adan Garcia‏ @Culalam Mar 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They become the Morlocks in our Dystopian future and eat the fair ones. It will be good to be ugly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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