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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 5

    Bored God Tries To Fit All Of Jupiter In Mouth https://trib.al/heo3jck pic.twitter.com/NtdVAHj6GX

    7:54 PM - 5 Mar 2018
    • 450 Retweets
    • 2,904 Likes
    • mimi “banthony thotkins” poulton society's best enemy Oof🐌 Alfonso Gutierrez James Is kinda spooky, no? 🥓 urgent🥓bacon🥓 Adam Hainsfurther E-"Lie upon the sacrificial altar" Sloan king
    34 replies 450 retweets 2,904 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Adam J. Wahlberg‏ @AdamWahlberg Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Has to be said.... it’s better than trying to fit all of Uranus in his mouth. Sorry, Twitter.

        3 replies 2 retweets 31 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Name Goes Here‏ @NightmareWaffle Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Did he look at another god and say, "Hold my wine!" first?

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Yubboy Yuge‏ @SS_Coleslaw Mar 6
        Replying to @NightmareWaffle @TheOnion

        "Hold my kid's blood!"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. yuetsu‏ @yuetsu Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        did god think it was the interstellar version of a tide pod?

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Ay caramba!‏ @jgca68 Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well; @TheTweetOfGod grow up will ya!

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Jessica Bishai‏ @jessbishai Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @crumbo_tungus this reminds me of u

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Christine Zheng‏ @crumbo_tungus Mar 5
        Replying to @jessbishai @TheOnion

        yeah i get that

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Simon Vandore‏ @simonvandore Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey God, if you're after another orange morsel for dessert...pic.twitter.com/imcfC0zAO8

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Interrobang The Spooky‏ @ThatInterrobang Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As one does

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Mad Hatter‏ @Shirley_I_Jest Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        God: "It looked like a giant Gobstopper."

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. ғagoтιnι wιтн garden vegeтaвleѕ‏ @Infjvader Mar 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Lczt3oW9wK

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. 2VNews  🎲 🎲 ❌‏ @2VNews Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bored Onion writers run out of good stuff.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Loobus‏ @Droog_gator Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @donhertzfeldt

        @PapaBirdJake @Hugoreloaded 🤔Checkmate "Atheists" 🤗🤗🤷🏿‍♀️

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Mar 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        used to do this with giant jawbreakers. So...why not try a planet

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Alexander Fox‏ @VoteAlexFox Mar 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheTweetOfGod

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Katherine A Ponton‏ @katherineponto1 Mar 11
        Replying to @TheOnion @AtheistWorld

        The original Tide pod challenge!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Hailight Yetesha‏ @Hailighty Mar 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What are you trying to say? All I know is that, there is one God (ELOHIM) who creates heaven and earth and measures the heavens in span.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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