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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 3

    Poignant Dying Words Wasted On Dumbshit Nephew https://trib.al/wB65kXV pic.twitter.com/rMruZtDreg

    3:13 PM - 3 Mar 2018
    • 331 Retweets
    • 2,177 Likes
    • Jackson Bearly Marketing X-cessive Assassion Peter Cleary Patrick Gustavson Julianne walter Sage Sebastien Riant 🎃
    12 replies 331 retweets 2,177 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Digital Dogma 🍁‏ @DaveMKool Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stories like this make me want to write for you guys so bad it HURTS

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. wheesht min!#ettiesultana‏ @sevemac67 Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I remember my granny's dying words, resonates to this day. As she settled into the bosom of god, she said, confidently, ' Have you ever seen a monkey with a hard on? ' I like to believe that she was imparting the essence of life.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. The Colon‏ @thecolonnews Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        IDK, The Onion. I think our deathbed article wins. Nice try, though.https://www.thecolonnews.com/single-post/2018/03/02/WorstDeathbedConfessionalEver …

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Bryce Slach‏ @bryceslach Mar 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @PharoahEvilEgg

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor Mar 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I buried the family fortune under the . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. spooky skele man‏ @lunaticsorcerer Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Haven’t you guys done this one before?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Never get married and have as much fun as you can, oh yea and save some money for the times you get fired from your jobs, or it's no drinks or cigarettes. Sage advice kid, it worked for me. lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Whose Leg am I?‏ @feetfetus Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They tweeted this last week.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So what did he say? He said the gold was buried in...cough..cough.........

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. @OJulie777‏ @OJulie777 Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        sad

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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