Too real onion, too real 
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Gotta power through, kid.
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how dare you glorify sexual assault, onion tribune... delete this now
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haven’t you been paying attention lately? this kind of behavior is sexual assault now. very irresponsible reporting by the onion tribune.
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you hadn’t heard? all over the press.
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You should really mark this one as satire.
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Sounds like sexual harrassment to me. Drive her out of having a quiet cocktail to herself, or preventing her from meeting someone she might be interested in. He wasn't brave, he was a bully!
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Lucky man envisions expensive divorce over a lackluster lay, lol
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hahahahahahah
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Satire. the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. synonyms: mockery · ridicule · derision · scorn · caricature · irony · sarcasm
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God da*n the dude. Overcoming strange hurdles throughout the journey of getting a girl.
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Is he a Trump?
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This would be funnier if there weren't so many guys out there thinking, 'I'm being heroic. Good to know.'
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perseverance, my friends!!!!
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