Good stuff today. Good Onion. 
<- I hope this emoji looks like an onion
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Huh... Close enough. Looks like I don't have an onion emoji. So many useless emojis but NO onion???



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Lemme try...

k, that's a crying chestnut.
I'm really incensed that we don't have an onion emoji @jack -
Yeah, we need the onion. Nobody needs these emojis










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Well, if anyone has the power to get an onion emoji, it would be...
@TheOnion.
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If I was a teacher I'd get two guns and name them "Thoughts and Prayers."
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Is that a nine millimeter? Well try this iambic pentameter on for size
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I guess you meant shakeSPEAR
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The pen is mightier than the gun.
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My understanding is that the textbook is heavier than a fully loaded AK-47 while boasting of a similar range and effectiveness as a taser gun. Textbook publishers will be the new NRA! Just don't throw it like a girl.
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@MrGreggLong is the first one to come to mind with this post!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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We had a crusty old maid algebra genius that kept the fear of god in the most fearless of us. Huge footballers trembled at just a glance from her.
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