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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 1

    English Teacher Already Armed With Deadly Weapon Called Shakespeare https://trib.al/QoeSq89 pic.twitter.com/ZCMWO7TmFf

    10:11 AM - 1 Mar 2018
    • 2,617 Retweets
    • 9,583 Likes
    • C Abby Munton cain_irl Selena O'Brien Jane Cook A Mindful Life, LA scary shelley 𝒶𝒹𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒶 ye who bow to no man's will
    108 replies 2,617 retweets 9,583 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. MACHINA_BOY‏ @machina_boy Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good stuff today. Good Onion. 👍🍑 <- I hope this emoji looks like an onion

        2 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
      3. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 1
        Replying to @machina_boy @TheOnion

        Jack, that's a peach.😂pic.twitter.com/bu1eZSzxL1

        2 replies 0 retweets 38 likes
      4. MACHINA_BOY‏ @machina_boy Mar 1
        Replying to @emkyo @TheOnion

        Huh... Close enough. Looks like I don't have an onion emoji. So many useless emojis but NO onion??? 😭😭😭

        1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
      5. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 1
        Replying to @machina_boy @TheOnion

        Lemme try... 🌰💦 k, that's a crying chestnut. 😂 I'm really incensed that we don't have an onion emoji @jack

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      6. MACHINA_BOY‏ @machina_boy Mar 1
        Replying to @emkyo @TheOnion @jack

        Yeah, we need the onion. Nobody needs these emojis 🏫🏬🏭🏰🕍⛺🕋🌌🎠🚞

        2 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
      7. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 1
        Replying to @machina_boy @TheOnion @jack

        http://change.org  petition ASAP 😂🙈

        3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      8. Dawn Brant‏ @DawnRBrant Mar 1
        Replying to @emkyo @TheOnion @jack

        Well, if anyone has the power to get an onion emoji, it would be... @TheOnion.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Donald Nelson‏ @HanoyShan Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/lIjYTbYElw

        1 reply 18 retweets 48 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Steven Money‏ @stevenamoney Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If I was a teacher I'd get two guns and name them "Thoughts and Prayers."

        0 replies 4 retweets 17 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Mike G‏ @_mikegalt_ Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is that a nine millimeter? Well try this iambic pentameter on for size

        0 replies 1 retweet 11 likes
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      1. Yair Zissu‏ @Yzissu22 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I guess you meant shakeSPEAR

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. Keith Stafford‏ @Doogievet Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The pen is mightier than the gun.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Dakota Timm‏ @dakota_timm Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My understanding is that the textbook is heavier than a fully loaded AK-47 while boasting of a similar range and effectiveness as a taser gun. Textbook publishers will be the new NRA! Just don't throw it like a girl.

        1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Haley Spookmyer‏ @hstaudmyer Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BaptistPHSN @MrsRobEnglish

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. James Salter‏ @LPMrSalter Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MrGreggLong is the first one to come to mind with this post!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Nicholas Torres‏ @natorres111 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/sPuKHFVA5N

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Rex T‏ @rexdbr1 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We had a crusty old maid algebra genius that kept the fear of god in the most fearless of us. Huge footballers trembled at just a glance from her.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Bill Reynolds‏ @BillRey50841885 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/k5CuIe7IWq

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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