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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 1

    Report: It Would Probably Be Nice Having Friends https://trib.al/8wy0c3a pic.twitter.com/xeufvQi51y

    8:34 AM - 1 Mar 2018
    • 352 Retweets
    • 1,347 Likes
    • Death in the West audg Pierre-Simon Laplace Sean 🤷🏼‍♂️ Julie Wilding 🦇👻🕷🕸🥀🕸🕷👻🦇 Jacob Devon Ethington isaac
    28 replies 352 retweets 1,347 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. MACHINA_BOY‏ @machina_boy Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Overrated. Friends are just fleshy distractions from illuminated screens.

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Rob‏ @RobbyFresh513 Mar 1
        Replying to @machina_boy @TheOnion

        I like... #FleshyDistractions

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Geoff Garton‏ @kearisbear Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fake News

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Roma Khudoleyev‏ @MrRoma17 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think y'all are forgetting that y'all's job is to publish satire, not the blistering truth.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Jack Grubb‏ @jcgrubb Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Last shred of self esteem slipping away

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. BC‏ @trucker_bc Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/8scBRzcPTc

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. estee tabernac‏ @esteetabernac Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey I have friends...on twitter. Same thing, right? RIGHT!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Skeptic‏ @abqralph Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They'll just stab you in the back the first chance they get.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. MATTHEW MAGUIRE‏ @MATTHEW72081434 Mar 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Qb1oRyNmff

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JuanVW‏ @itsssjuanie Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’m pretty sure all 10 seasons can be found on Netflix

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Todd Beam‏ @toddb2k Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Damn near impossible after 40

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nick-or-Treat  🎃‏ @Nick7982 Mar 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😭

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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