"god those were some lame last words"
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
“Did I die correctly?”
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
"I totally blew it at my funeral. All these people coming up to me, and I just froze."
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
While some interpret this point-of-death phenomenon as a meaningful, divine reprimand, it has actually been proven in numerous double-blind neurological studies to be nothing more than the final burst of irony leaving one's body.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
As in, "I wonder if I turned the oven off" As in, "Mom was right, I SHOULD HAVE worn clean underwear."
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
So funny! A frien - an ex-rodeo champion himself - would tell this joke: What are the famous last words of a cowboy? “Watch this...” The Onion story is so relatable to this joke - as I recall it - that it makes both seem ‘real’ - Very funny!
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
So I’ll still be thinking of self deprecating jokes and be powerless to tell them?
#literallyhellThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
I doubt therefore I am
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
only for those who realize they left the water running? stove is on? oh no .. the pizza guy?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Depends on who died.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Purgatory?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Now that I fucking believe.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
... dubito ergo non sum? I am dead because I doubt?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
What? No respite from self criticism even in the grave...?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.