Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 25

    United Airlines Cracking Down On Emotional Support Spouses https://trib.al/F5C0uKJ pic.twitter.com/bWoUcYR1JE

    6:29 AM - 25 Feb 2018
    • 230 Retweets
    • 1,510 Likes
    • Dwight Bishop Cacti, my guy Pierre-Simon Laplace Hubert RHONE Jon A. Jacobson, MD Бог велик Maggie Copeland Disturbelage Macly
    13 replies 230 retweets 1,510 likes
      1. Just Dave  🇺🇸‏ @CountDownDave Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion @4eyesJohnny

        My wife said something to that effect on Friday as we queued to board a flight! 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. subtleteed‏ @TeedGirl Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But at least they’re not supporting the NRA any more. So there’s that.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. sandyL‏ @sandyleffew1 Feb 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bastards...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MoreMusicMoreMoney‏ @MoreMusicMoreMo Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂 so @NeNeLeakes, @Kimzolciak & her lips wont b able to fly @united w/ her crutch of a husband @biermann71 anymore 😂😂 @Bravotv #RHOATL this gone b interesting. This will b the norm n a few yrs 🛫pic.twitter.com/EzTAnNtDAg

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. engineer‏ @nutnumbs Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's not enough room for them under the seat in front .

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ATX‏ @ATX_fight_club Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well mine will still be fine. More of an emotional pair of cement shoes

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Contrario‏ @contario11 Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Shit! That was my idea!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's about time. I get quite concerned when they run them through the Xray

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Satoshi Revolution‏ @CATA_coin Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I trade boutique cryptocurrencies. Syndicated presales are my downstream. Tweet are performance art not investment advice.™

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Satoshi Revolution‏ @CATA_coin Feb 25
        Replying to @CATA_coin @TheOnion

        But in this moment TEACHER, Sorry I hate being this guy...

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Satoshi Revolution‏ @CATA_coin Feb 25
        Replying to @CATA_coin @TheOnion

        But You can imagine what VAN GOGH and BANKSY are going and what they would be talking about at this moment ...

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Satoshi Revolution‏ @CATA_coin Feb 25
        Replying to @CATA_coin @TheOnion

        Or they would be judged by their philosophical, linguistic and literary dissertations .... I think they would be placidly waiting in that bed, the bodily consequences of having sold their works, immortalizing them digitally ..... and enjoying their BITCOIIIIIIIIIINpic.twitter.com/XhqQ7RoawG

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Lazarus‏ @richardgb23 Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There’s no such thing ha ha

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Dr. Ass Chips‏ @Embraceape Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stealing my material? I thought only really big losers steal from an online troll farm. I barely have the patience to carmalize you, much less read your tweets. I might grow you this year, u give me night terrors, & disorient me so bad I have to sit. Onions = Devil's testicles

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. kate  🦋‏ @fknk8 Feb 25
        Replying to @Embraceape @TheOnion

        calm down dr. ass chips it’s literally not that deep

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jeremiah Horrigan‏ @JeremiahHorriga Feb 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where's this guy's dog tags?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info