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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 22

    Report: More Elderly People Now Dying Surrounded By Coworkers https://trib.al/QhLm7tz pic.twitter.com/va67UUFOng

    7:17 AM - 22 Feb 2018
    • 161 Retweets
    • 1,102 Likes
    • Europe Politics PLOW Pierre-Simon Laplace Jersey John Taylor Spicer allenbb AKA audiocure Jeff Hand Paulitik
    32 replies 161 retweets 1,102 likes
      1. ben‏ @humanbeingbean Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        me at work when a customer asks for assistance

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. DeathBecomesMe® 💀‏ @DeathBecomes_Me Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dying in khakis is no way to go.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. bitch tits‏ @HanYolo14 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don’t suppose any of the coworkers considered saving the elderly, rather than surrounding them like it’s a game of fucking Kabade?

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. o.o‏ @LanoomAES Feb 22
        Replying to @HanYolo14 @TheOnion

        how do you save someone from the cruel hand of time that reaches for every man, woman, child, and god at some point, han how

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. SHARON CHANG‏ @Portia72307 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Because they couldn't afford to retire.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. J. Rose‏ @smaze94357 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Glad I took early retirement. If I died at work my coworkers would have piled some chairs around me till the end of the day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Woernley‏ @Woernley_Raps Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Alright... Let's get back to work people...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. DougZ‏ @Doug_Zbi Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        True story- this happened to me once. Head of a department dropped dead in an elevator, the door opened, he flopped out, and a group stood around him as the elevator slid back and forth against his lifeless body.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Tyrell Corp.‏ @anon_gables1 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'd kick him about 20 times just to check if he's alive or not..

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Chris Rogers‏ @stewrogers Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Onion writing main news headlines a few years before everyone else gets there....

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. TrumpTroller‏ @ManbabyandChief Feb 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Crossing fingers for Pence and Trump next on the list.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Trevor Jones‏ @trevorjones46 Feb 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Looks like Corbyn

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. jefe‏ @jeffholly Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thank goodness I work from home these days, at least I dont have to worry about being color-coordinated

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ron Baker‏ @huntingzero Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They're just waiting for the bladder to release, so they can laugh at the khaki stain

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Skechy Max Normal‏ @bustmykeyboard Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: Report: More Elderly People Now Dying Surrounded By Coworkers https://trib.al/QhLm7tz  pic.twitter.com/psh9ehLQYs"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. http://skeleton.bone‏ @EatWorkSleepDie Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hell yeah, work sucks

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Roger Myers‏ @RogerMyers18 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Becoming true under the GOP

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Susan‏ @TheRealCrone Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This. Not so subtle truth is the coming passage to retirement.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area 1%er laughs it up. We convinced him that taking his Social Security early would kill him.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. luwi‏ @luwii47 Feb 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/aVllXG3Mq3

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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