Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 21

    Man Just Going To Assume This Counts As ‘Minced’ https://trib.al/91hENkZ pic.twitter.com/wl2FRuxHzA

    12:11 PM - 21 Feb 2018
    • 267 Retweets
    • 2,385 Likes
    • Captain Skippy (Will Barber) Magic B.I.G3 szn 🐬⬆️ Austin campion Leezee c o u r t n e y 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕠𝕧 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝔾𝕒𝕟𝕘 me Rick Geerling P. Rob
    17 replies 267 retweets 2,385 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Ariel Dumas‏Verified account @ArielDumas Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        omg @dollarbillstern

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Bill Stern‏ @dollarbillstern Feb 21
        Replying to @ArielDumas @TheOnion

        It’s parody! I’m actually really good at mincing!

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jared Hoffman‏ @jar3d_h0ffman Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Uhh is it me or at a glance does this look like me?

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Jared Hoffman‏ @jar3d_h0ffman Feb 22
        Replying to @arielllleee @TheOnion

        I thought it was me too

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. alan macdougall‏ @cyberdyne Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Minced, diced, and small diced are all the same thing

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Thoughts Of Cat‏ @ThoughtsOfCat2 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is why we prefer to eat tiny dry food pellets. Step your game up, humans, have some respect for your culinary creations.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  🐉‏ @fritakahlos Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        how hard could it be to mince something george? good god

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Satoshi Revolution‏ @CATA_coin Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/GJ63Egbwaq

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Drew Guarini‏ @DrewG7 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jackieayn It me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ingvald Akbar‏ @ingvald29 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’ll take Words for $1000, Alex

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 2Jayz‏ @stockaflocka23 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @cereal_carpens @RichardStock

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Caleb Anderson‏ @pebble107 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, I agree.pic.twitter.com/c5RwwBmO1X

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hannah Aldrich‏ @HannahHannahe Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hehehe

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steven D‏ @Stevessvt Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She never had a chance.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. D‏ @DaveT1983 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What the heck, it’s not hard to mince an onion. For good instructions, YouTube Gordon Ramsay’s quick instructional on onion -mincing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nick Yacovazzi‏ @Tacovazzi Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @SamCallahan

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Danny Contreras, Jr.‏ @DanielDannyc12 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yep

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info