Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 21

    Panicked Billy Graham Realizes He Took Wrong Turn Into Heaven’s Largest Gay Neighborhood https://trib.al/DABiCI8 pic.twitter.com/ReyTvuGpzC

    11:38 AM - 21 Feb 2018
    • 3,559 Retweets
    • 14,833 Likes
    • Ryan Stout Jackie Jackson Dylan Weights N Glory 7Link7 Richard Feinberg Lisa O'rrell Dēja Morlan Bonnie Discuillo
    261 replies 3,559 retweets 14,833 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Popcorn ready for Mueller time!‏ @pomagranateswhy Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But then he decided to stay because they had great coffee.

        1 reply 0 retweets 93 likes
      3. March for Progress‏ @march4progress Feb 21
        Replying to @pomagranateswhy @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Kr6wcpt57G

        This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
        0 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jeff Leidig‏ @DenverGooner Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not remotely funny.

        17 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
      3. Tiger the Lion‏ @TigretheLion Feb 21
        Replying to @DenverGooner @TheOnion

        Buck up, snowflake.

        1 reply 0 retweets 218 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Alex Garrett‏ @AG_213 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Got all this boldness now, but when you meet the creator face to face you won’t have an oz of it

        26 replies 1 retweet 37 likes
      3. chaosape‏ @chaosape Feb 21
        Replying to @AG_213 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/T8ucI68kCi

        2 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
      4. Alex Garrett‏ @AG_213 Feb 22
        Replying to @chaosape @TheOnion

        Without a moral law giver there is no moral law there is no good or evil. The reason bad things happen in this world is caused by our free will to do whatever we want

        3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. chaosape‏ @chaosape Feb 22
        Replying to @AG_213 @TheOnion

        if god is omniscient free will is a farce; it knows what will happen before it created us. If god is not omniscient then it is not god, ie, there is no plan or the plan is not perfect. Anyway you slice it, either god is not perfect or it doesnt exist.

        2 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
      6. chaosape‏ @chaosape Feb 22
        Replying to @chaosape @AG_213 @TheOnion

        This is what happens when you deal in "absolutes", you very often end at absurdity.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Frankster‏ @alter_f Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        too soon??

        3 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Baron Von Scrub‏ @BaronVonScrub Feb 21
        Replying to @alter_f @TheOnion

        Nah.

        0 replies 0 retweets 81 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. dvb‏ @dvb Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        the rainbows should have tipped him off!

        0 replies 0 retweets 151 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. pencilpusher(sox)...‏ @pandaproduce Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Really...guys common,respect the dead..

        4 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
      3. Roma Khudoleyev‏ @MrRoma17 Feb 21
        Replying to @pandaproduce @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/LyXkoMwcGn

        0 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Denise Smith‏ @DeniseSmith67 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too soon????

        2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Bryce Lee‏ @_bryce_lee Feb 21
        Replying to @DeniseSmith67 @TheOnion

        ya think?

        2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. Jeff  🎸 🎼 🐾 🎃 🌊‏ @MusicForLife61 Feb 21
        Replying to @_bryce_lee @DeniseSmith67 @TheOnion

        Na..

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Phillips‏ @SDPhillips517 Feb 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There isn’t one, sorry to let you down.

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Elena Panova‏ @Xsathrie Feb 21
        Replying to @SDPhillips517 @TheOnion

        Oh honey, there are several! ✨🌈🔥

        1 reply 0 retweets 36 likes
      4. 1 more reply

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info