Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 18

    Lucky Bastard Gets To Be In Coma https://trib.al/4leNVn2 pic.twitter.com/OvqTSNCfgg

    9:49 AM - 18 Feb 2018
    • 2,616 Retweets
    • 8,616 Likes
    • maryam みか@TWICE SNEED Kat's Meow and the Bees Knees Dr. Nedder PHD Zania Dee JoAnne Ellis Machiavellian_Idiot Luci💖💕
    42 replies 2,616 retweets 8,616 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. mimaflower‏ @mimaflowerr Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        every fucking reply i've seen involves trump in one way or another, we get that you don't like him stop plugging him into everything you see

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. dont b dong‏ @Calculator67889 Feb 18
        Replying to @mimaflowerr @TheOnion

        i wish i could be in a coma so i don't have to deal with the trump administration!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. DieAn  ☠️ 🎃 🍁‏ @islandflutterby Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My father passed in January of 2017 of cancer that rapidly progressed. He knew what was coming. One of his last coherent statements: "At least I'm glad I won't be around for any more of this Trump bullshit." Miss ya dad, but oooooooh you were so right.

        1 reply 1 retweet 11 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. BOOcial54321‏ @Crucial54321 Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        WHY CAN'T I BE DEAD THO?!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  ⁉️ ❓ ‼️ ⁉️ ⁉️‏ @vexelove Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #Goals

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚃𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝙵𝚛𝚞𝚖𝚙 ©‏ @JoeJejune Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ladies and gents, welcome to Trumpistan where comas are the only the way to get a decent night's sleep.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Tom Perry‏ @tom_lowell_born Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to wake up during the second term of the next truly human president, after all the stains from Trump have been washed away

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. The Grey Man‏ @GreyConscience Feb 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I was in this nightmare where Donald Trump was president. By the time I woke up, it was over. What a relief."

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. BOOcial54321‏ @Crucial54321 Feb 18
        Replying to @GreyConscience @TheOnion

        I'll beat Ur head in and get you in another coma if you want

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. The Grey Man‏ @GreyConscience Feb 18
        Replying to @Crucial54321 @TheOnion

        C'mon. Don't turn me on like that. I'm on the bus.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Mike Green‏ @mikeygreen93 Feb 18
        Replying to @kygei @TheOnion

        😂 That's such a funny connection. All the breaks and none of the existential dread!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info