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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 16

    Weird New Cereal Sets Tone For First Weekend At Divorced Dad’s https://trib.al/SEjQKOg pic.twitter.com/edzSzzt5iB

    7:43 AM - 16 Feb 2018
    • 322 Retweets
    • 2,785 Likes
    • Nina x k a t Rahmarista former child Pierre-Simon Laplace Holt McKeithan Gaston it's me jace
    19 replies 322 retweets 2,785 likes
      1. Tea Sipping Zombie‏ @teazomboii Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh my lord too REAL with me today Onion

        0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
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      1. Telytubisavalas‏ @Telytubisavalas Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Probably bought by Jennifer, "Call me Jenny or someday stepmom, lol!", who could be dad's daughter, smells like a bottle of SpellBound exploded on her and couldn't keep a job if her life or iPhone X depended on it. I so hate her.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Coles Street Pothole‏ @ColesStreetPoth Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When did the Onion start writing real stuff? #TooReal

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Kenny Loggins‏ @kennethcloggins Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You guys do the "dads don't know what they're doing" single parent joke too often.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Michael Hunt‏ @MichaelHuntLGBT Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is way better than gun humor

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I had this memory nicely repressed until I read this. Thanks @TheOnion. 😕

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. HELLbender Sam  😈 🤘 🦎‏ @SammyKSampson Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At our dad's house, we always got the little camping boxes of cereal!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Buy my cereal Awkwords. The cereal w/ letters that let you drown your troubles in milk. Lightly frosted with sarcasm to fuel your thoughts.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ireland‏ @London_AC Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        OOF

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ViewtfulHero‏ @ViewtfulHero Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Must've been Oreos cereal dad figured he could put his son on :S

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nikki B.‏ @Lvladybug01 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too real.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Bats and Lanterns‏ @Skaalar Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oof. That’s... that’s closer to home than usual.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. FreelanceOpportunist 🇭🇲‏ @FreeOpportunist Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A bowl of Tide pods and bleach

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Life cream lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  👻Ghost of Mike Huckabee's Dog 👻‏ @MikeMcDonald83 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel like divorce is a major theme for The Onion.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ragged Irregular‏ @au3327 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Moldy Crunch: it tastes just like the basement!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. nines09‏ @Mescalero09 Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “ Dad said Candy was stopping by later. She’s a dancer or something and we like need to take care of her for a night or 2. He says I’ll like her.”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dan Jansen‏ @_DJansen Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #trauma

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Prætor‏ @Psilocyb0rg Feb 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dark.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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