Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 14

    ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://trib.al/AdNR9gz pic.twitter.com/Zr0X8qcDqJ

    3:50 PM - 14 Feb 2018
    • 63,240 Retweets
    • 96,163 Likes
    • Justin Helmer IS AMPHY OF GAY DESCENT? 🏳️‍🌈 bree Rook2konig camiwa W A C K 🗿 🎃 antonio 🎃 A-boo 👻 🔪guts🗡
    696 replies 63,240 retweets 96,163 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jewish Coffee House‏ @JewishCoffeeH Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Israel has tremendous success with balancing the right to bear arms with gun control. Police and doctor permission required, mental health checks that must be renewed, reason for gun must be demonstrated, mandatory training, etc. Result is miniscule gun violence.

        1 reply 5 retweets 29 likes
      3. Monica Cellio‏ @MonicaCellio Feb 15
        Replying to @JewishCoffeeH @TheOnion

        I'm boggled that in the US we don't require any training. (We claim to do background checks, but aren't rigorous.) We don't let people drive without passing a test; why are weapons different?

        3 replies 0 retweets 27 likes
      4. Monica Cellio‏ @MonicaCellio Feb 15
        Replying to @MonicaCellio @JewishCoffeeH @TheOnion

        I want option for self-defense b/c police can't arrive in time to prevent a rape or murder, but that's a far cry from free-for-all. And I should have to demonstrate competence & responsibility.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Mr Snak3_‏ @MisterSnak3 Feb 15
        Replying to @575aliveT @AlexanderTom5 @TheOnion

        While I do feel Australias movement in completely wiping guns away except for maybe some farmers it's easier for Au as an island whereas America has land borders where it can be much easier to smuggle them through and with a much much larger population

        9 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Mr Snak3_‏ @MisterSnak3 Feb 15
        Replying to @575aliveT @AlexanderTom5 @TheOnion

        1 is too many

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. FRS0918‏ @frs0918 Feb 14
        Replying to @TheOnion @CybeleSees

        This is what happens when birth is revered but not life after birth.

        0 replies 2 retweets 23 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 9outof10DoctorsAgree  🌊‏ @9OutOf10Doctors Feb 14
        Replying to @TheOnion @codykeenan

        Australia had a shocking mass shooting and we changed our gun laws and it has never happened again, and our media never mentions the perpetrators name. Copy us, it works.

        0 replies 3 retweets 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Questfor5‏ @riverhawk02 Feb 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Canada - 19 school shootings since 1884 Whole of Europe - 26 school shootings since 1913 Amerikkka - 11 school shootings in the first 23 days of 2018 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_shooting#Notable_school_shootings …

        1 reply 4 retweets 11 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Jeff Strauss‏ @TheJeffStrauss Feb 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There are MORE retail outlets in the US where you can buy a gun than there are STARBUCKS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! How about a little reasonable #guncontrol #GunControlNow #Everytown (thanks @kairyssdal)

        0 replies 2 retweets 15 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mark‏ @markitgeek Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/S9eJu6Y7fR

        0 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. David Brody‏Verified account @DavidBrody Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We as a nation are just stupid

        0 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Barry Gallagher‏ @GManDAHS Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @AustinSonger

        It's really simple...in our Democracy, vote on whether automatic weapons should be allowed or not.. whichever side gets 51% wins. Uh-oh, what's that you say? You don't believe in Democracy?

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Young Hug‏ @AustinSonger Feb 15
        Replying to @GManDAHS @TheOnion

        it's like paul ryan refusing to put a clean dreamer bill on the floor... won't do it because he knows it'll pass

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott Morrison‏ @scottymo76 Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How long until your schools have snipers on the roof & machine gun toting hall monitors? Desert Eagles under a teachers desk become standard issue? Heck some probably think those are great ideas! A great country literally drowning in a self made sea of blood.

        1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. DAVSPURS‏ @davspurs Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Growing up it was Cowboys Indians the gun v bow arrow the gun won the battle . But when Indians also got the guns no one won the war there had to be peace talks now in the USA it's time to talk and take guns of the streets and leave Wild West in the Past MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN

        0 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Steven‏ @HTFCNostalgia Feb 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The people of America carry guns to protect themselves from people of America with guns. DUH!!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Tezz‏ @Tezzeractor Feb 16
        Replying to @HTFCNostalgia @TheOnion

        It's a self-sustaining gun-based economy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info