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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 13

    20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day https://trib.al/bHj8Gns pic.twitter.com/55Z2gYbPHr

    8:26 PM - 13 Feb 2018
    • 1,084 Retweets
    • 4,992 Likes
    • sam Screamingbluecheese Nalo Michael Mr Watchtower Lucifervj Joel Peters KM Davis Bluzy
    72 replies 1,084 retweets 4,992 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Psovartist‏ @psovart Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just laser it off and forget about it!

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. G. McP‏ @gregmcph Feb 13
        Replying to @psovart @TheOnion

        G. McP Retweeted The Onion

        https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/963500290925301761 …

        G. McP added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        Congress Confused By $500 Million In Trump’s Budget Allocated For ‘Laser Stuff’ https://trib.al/W9XHeZy  pic.twitter.com/gLYyqzZequ
        0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  ⚾️ 💙Pet Perkins 💙 ⚾️ 📏‏ @petrafyed Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @jefftacher

        They use it to stuff all those teddy bears sold on the street! 🐻

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. WOOF‏ @jefftacher Feb 13
        Replying to @petrafyed @TheOnion

        Ewwwww

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4.  ⚾️ 💙Pet Perkins 💙 ⚾️ 📏‏ @petrafyed Feb 13
        Replying to @jefftacher @TheOnion

        I’m totally getting you one. Plush, extra short hairs 😂😂😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sensitive Santa‏ @SensitiveSanta Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel like this isn’t actually fake news...😳

        1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Gabe‏ @925mlbfan Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @fakeronwash38

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Gabe‏ @925mlbfan Feb 13
        Replying to @fakeronwash38 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/wbVhvWyhhY

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Bad Man Hat‏ @bad_man_hat Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        *Looks down at crotch* Make that 20,001 tons

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Bad Man Hat‏ @bad_man_hat Feb 13
        Replying to @SaraGreenhill @TheOnion

        Don't want the wife to be coughing up hair balls 😎😎😎

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Dope Smokin' Unicorn‏ @dpsmkn_unicorn Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this may be satire, but it does beg the question...

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Fred Fredburger‏ @KaBucchi Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And half of that is from the Kardashian’s alone.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. T. A.‏ @tap364 Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Followed 3 days later by the annual "Scratch the shit out of your junk" week.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Horndrill‏ @hitsthebigtime Feb 13
        Replying to @tap364 @TheOnion

        Rubbing alcohol my guy

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Brian Hittson‏ @Hittsonsleestak Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "while in the mid-1970s private trimmings were so rare that documentation was actually abandoned until 1981." 😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. GraemeT‏ @ghmt21 Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Could someone tell my wife this is a thing?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. American Patriot  🇺🇲 🏳️‍🌈 🇵🇷 and 200 others‏ @sober__society Feb 14
        Replying to @ghmt21 @TheOnion

        How long you been married? If the answer is "more than a day", then I'm sorry bud, it's not happening. My advice? Hire a pool boy. She'll start waxing again for no reason.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation

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