Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 12

    Roman Centurion Crawling Out Of New York City Manhole In For One Wacky Adventure https://trib.al/z8ux8at pic.twitter.com/j0iXCNMh3Y

    8:07 PM - 12 Feb 2018
    • 301 Retweets
    • 1,847 Likes
    • Son of Dad Medina GrandpaSpud sherman did nothing wrong🌹 Evi⛾ Good Clean Wholesome Memes Duckeyboos Christina Mtz I love halloween
    28 replies 301 retweets 1,847 likes
      1. New conversation
      2.  💀 Spooky Nerd  💀‏ @LilithLovett Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/gFZXBqivtk

        1 reply 4 retweets 45 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Steve McCall‏ @stephenmccall Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This writer deserves a raise

        0 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. L. E. Barbant‏ @lebarbant Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Shoot. This is almost the exact plot for the book @_cmraymond_ and I are working on.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Chris Raymond‏ @_cmraymond_ Feb 12
        Replying to @lebarbant @TheOnion

        Whoa... Guess we're on to something. We should get the onion to blurb it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Kristin‏ @kristinmachina Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Amy Pond, come collect your man. #DoctorWho

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Banana Republican 2.0  🌎‏ @tombuchanan271 Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I would watch that movie.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cara *VOTE NOV. 6th!!*‏ @CarabooBeara Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Rory!? 😭😭 #whovian #thepainisstilltoonearpic.twitter.com/nHZWka3eNN

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He's a few centurion short of the new millennium.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  🇺🇸Genaro 🇲🇽the 🇺🇸Fake 🇲🇽Politician 🇺🇸‏ @realFakePol Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Enchanted is getting a reboot this soon?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ghost‏ @BlueGhostMods Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the plot for Ella Enchanted

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Big Bad Bloodydamn.‏ @redjill55 Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Coming to a theater near you June 1993

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Evan Schultheis‏ @EvanSchultheis Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just saying, we did it first.pic.twitter.com/K7PgNgXJYc

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cheese #NetNeutrality #DeleteArt13‏ @CableBoxMax Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/9CF3RnvbtV

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BeastlyBretMaverick777 🎃‏ @BretMaverick777 Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fwow him to the gwound and stwike him wuffly.pic.twitter.com/PHjNMhYEYo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Feb 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yea he'll be mugged drugged up and wind up with a VD

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Semper ubi sub ubipic.twitter.com/9zBBXI9xMW

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Samuel Petersen‏ @theearthstars Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh man...he has no idea!pic.twitter.com/Obp6lPN32C

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ViiStar‏ @VIIStar_ Feb 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, but a Roman would know what a sewer, road, and sidewalk was, considering they built plenty of them in Rome...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info