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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 11

    USA Gymnastics Confident They Have Plan In Place For Next Time Doctor Sexually Assaults 150 Children https://trib.al/wlNWnDr pic.twitter.com/zXsFJya0s8

    9:41 AM - 11 Feb 2018
    • 315 Retweets
    • 1,809 Likes
    • abbey stahl Kelsey Sutton Trenade Brotherton 🔆🎃🍂 WaltersCrossing Andrew Pontious *Heavy Breeding* Chris Garrett Harle 👩‍⚖️ 🔗perjury trap📚📖🔍⚖️
    43 replies 315 retweets 1,809 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Soop Munkey‏ @soopmunkey Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “Fool us 152 times, shame on us...”

        1 reply 0 retweets 33 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. I am the‏ @realJohnSecrest Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Remember the good old days when people were able to understand that comedy is meant to be irreverent but also serves as commentary on where society is at? You’re supposed to be offended by this, just not at @theonion. But offended at those in position of authority.

        1 reply 0 retweets 21 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Nancy L. Russell‏ @notrump57 Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And why would you allow a next time??? Safeguards must be put in place to prevent this from EVER happening again!

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Russian Mob Chicken‏ @Chicken79753422 Feb 11
        Replying to @notrump57 @TheOnion

        Whispers: thats the joke

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Whistling Batter‏ @WhistlingBatter Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Stop, Drop, and Roll" education campaign begins. Money saved by re-using 1970s Fire Safety posters.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Diane Wilson‏ @SewFrantic Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too soon.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Michael Johnson‏ @MikesPieHole Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The offending molester is at a federal prison in Tucson. Only 391,340 days until he is freed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. cadydid‏ @Cadydid1960 Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fantastic! Can't wait!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. The Dole Observer‏ @TheDoleObserver Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too late.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Guy Faux‏ @Faux_Guy_ Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion @MontanaKlingsp1

        Step One: Don't hire doctors with bumper stickers that say "All child physicals are free".

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Captain Craptastic‏ @captncraptastic Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Penn State and Michigan State were not only allowed to keep their Universities charter but field athletic programs, the Catholic Church is still allowed to operate, this country doesn't really care about child sex abuse, at all

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Aditya Kshirsagar‏ @AdityaK80729130 Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is so dark, but I'm laughing. I'm a terrible person

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. pencilpusher(sox)...‏ @pandaproduce Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Incorporating the infamous tikwodo death choke into gymnastics for any coach that looks at you the wrong way.pic.twitter.com/189pE8izEg

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Lex Jurgen‏ @MyTerribleWords Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not too soon. Too late. There will always be child predators in our midst. Adults, including parents, will always be tempted to overlook this danger in pursuit of big dreams. Anger is healthy here. http://terriblewords.com/larry-nassar-and-why-parents-ought-stop-serving-up-their-kids-on-platters-to-child-predators/ …

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. [gay silence]‏ @xylark Feb 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        delete this

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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