Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 9

    Report: Make It Stop https://trib.al/CMXs3au pic.twitter.com/1gwQA8WdEI

    11:18 AM - 9 Feb 2018
    • 6,067 Retweets
    • 17,687 Likes
    • greg Carlos maryam Jamie Pastore olivia duels Ranun Miguel Flores Viktor Von Doom
    75 replies 6,067 retweets 17,687 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Matthew Hoxworth‏ @Hoxy10 Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not pictured:pic.twitter.com/EYDsNAbieu

        10 replies 8 retweets 373 likes
      3. Debbie Jellinsky Was THAT BITCH‏ @dupreewith2es Feb 9
        Replying to @Hoxy10 @TheOnion

        I'm so happy someone hates that Mac commercial as much as me. "What's a computer?" Me:pic.twitter.com/LALhKZotUa

        14 replies 42 retweets 696 likes
      4. 2 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. jake‏ @JakeSnyder96 Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        you guys have really lost your satirical edge

        2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      3. Pumpkin Spice Prof‏ @LancerLandshark Feb 9
        Replying to @JakeSnyder96 @TheOnion

        It's only because reality has become stranger than fiction.

        0 replies 6 retweets 314 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ed Gaillard‏ @EdwardGaillard Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion @mattdpearce

        That's why I support @VoteGiantMeteor for 2020.

        6 replies 2 retweets 51 likes
      3. Zvi‏ @fredfred Feb 9
        Replying to @EdwardGaillard @TheOnion and

        DiHydrogen Monoxide 2024: Cleanse the Earth!

        2 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
      4. Ed Gaillard‏ @EdwardGaillard Feb 9
        Replying to @fredfred @TheOnion and

        "won't be water, the fire next time"

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. That spooky kid ™️ ☠️ 🎃‏ @Cookies_juice11 Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/F01P8lSMT2

        0 replies 2 retweets 83 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Robert Capewell‏ @MrRobCapewell Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Another masterpiece of Journalism by @TheOnion , cannot breathe.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. fish‏ @CrimsynChan Feb 9
        Replying to @MrRobCapewell @TheOnion

        Cannot breathe? You thought this was so funny that you laughed so hard, it resulted in you struggling for breath? This was t h a t funny to you?

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. The Boss‏ @MessyBoss Feb 9
        Replying to @CrimsynChan @MrRobCapewell @TheOnion

        Yeah! How dare you find something funny, Robert! Where do people draw the line nowadays?

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      5. Robert Capewell‏ @MrRobCapewell Feb 10
        Replying to @MessyBoss @CrimsynChan @TheOnion

        I realise my mistake. I am totally not laughing. I apologise to all involved.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Driver Nephi‏ @NickelONickel Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/LG2MfUa5kh

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3.  🅱️a 🅱️in‏ @Smil3yboi Feb 9
        Replying to @NickelONickel @TheOnion

        Bob Ross would die all over again if he knew whats happened the last 2 years

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. Driver Nephi‏ @NickelONickel Feb 9
        Replying to @Gavinluhezz @TheOnion

        he's probably painting happy little nuclear explosions right now

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1.  🎃 📼 🎃 📼 🎃VHS VAMPIRE  📼 🎃 📼 🎃‏ @An0d0s Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion @winnersusedrugs

        I dont even know what the fiberglass marshmallow is

        0 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Michael‏ @_Delathor_ Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion @realUSDOE

        Ok:pic.twitter.com/kT2HZGMglS

        0 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  ⁉️ ❓ ‼️ ⁉️ ⁉️‏ @vexelove Feb 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ALEXA MAKE IT STOP

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info