Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 7

    ‘It’s Step, Twist, Step, Dammit!’ Yells Leotard-Wearing, Cigarette-Smoking John Kelly While Choreographing Upcoming Military Parade https://trib.al/SpDmu1s pic.twitter.com/hzCem5cD5q

    2:13 PM - 7 Feb 2018
    • 2,632 Retweets
    • 8,456 Likes
    • ⚜John Devil's👹Triangle Paul⚜ EmKayPee💙 Judi Adams aka Pinky Knoxville jeanjeannie  🦇🤨mob?🖕🏽Fuck Republicans. Fran Gordon Real Times UtterDisbelief PollsDon’tVoteYouDo🇺🇸 (((BarbaraEdelman)))
    126 replies 2,632 retweets 8,456 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 7

        “Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to tell you it’s step, twist, step, shuffle, lean-and-point, and point-and-roll?” https://trib.al/1JShxqY pic.twitter.com/v9am9AxkjP

        8 replies 101 retweets 639 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. The Warax.‏ @iAmTheWarax Feb 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "This is some fucking bullshit." —Sec. of Defense Jim Mattispic.twitter.com/eSQ3tL6Zew

        2 replies 9 retweets 99 likes
      3. The Warax.‏ @iAmTheWarax Feb 8
        Replying to @iAmTheWarax @TheOnion

        I shan't be fucken moved.pic.twitter.com/LADrEKa8Cr

        2 replies 5 retweets 58 likes
      4. Patrick Hurley‏ @poguemahon Feb 8
        Replying to @iAmTheWarax @TheOnion

        If you don't have a coffee table picture book deal yet Warax, you are doing it ALL WRONG

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. The Warax.‏ @iAmTheWarax Feb 8
        Replying to @poguemahon @TheOnion

        wait am i supposed to be charging ppl for The Content?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Patrick Hurley‏ @poguemahon Feb 8
        Replying to @iAmTheWarax @TheOnion

        ABC! Only charging. But with a hefty vets' discount, naturally.pic.twitter.com/kyA8VShP3l

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. ViiStar‏ @VIIStar_ Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂pic.twitter.com/4ekYe5t1SJ

        3 replies 4 retweets 69 likes
      3. David Cunningham‏ @rudesan Feb 7
        Replying to @VIIStar_ @TheOnion

        "You're doing the French Mistake! Viola!"

        1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. CharlesNotes‏ @Charles_Notes Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch...Again!

        1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
      3. CharlesNotes‏ @Charles_Notes Feb 7
        Replying to @Charles_Notes @TheOnion

        That connects with... Turn, turn, out, in, jump, step Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch Got it?... Going on. And...

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      4. CharlesNotes‏ @Charles_Notes Feb 7
        Replying to @Charles_Notes @TheOnion

        Turn, turn, touch, down, back, step Pivot, step, walk, walk, walk Right! Let's do the whole combination From the top. A-five, six, seven, eight!

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      5. Maria Hanssel‏ @mariahmerrymary Feb 8
        Replying to @Charles_Notes @TheOnion

        Wow! I just heard the orchestra's first few measures going into that and it gave me chills! Awesome!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. (((muaddibble)))‏ @muaddibble Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s goose,step,goose,step repeat

        0 replies 1 retweet 23 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Diana 🌴 🌻 🌵 🌞‏ @Takethepwrback Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion @BryceRemkes

        pic.twitter.com/Oi4iTUknSg

        0 replies 2 retweets 18 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. DesertWolfPS‏ @DesertWolfPS Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Made my fuckin' day!

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. 65,844,954 patriots‏ @overfield_jay Feb 7
        Replying to @DesertWolfPS @TheOnion

        wolfie! you’re back!

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. DesertWolfPS‏ @DesertWolfPS Feb 7
        Replying to @overfield_jay @TheOnion

        Howdy!!! I'm recovering from the worst flu I've ever conceived of. How are you doing?

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      5. 65,844,954 patriots‏ @overfield_jay Feb 7
        Replying to @DesertWolfPS @TheOnion

        I’m glad you are on the mend! Dangerous flu season. I’m doing well - sending you hot chicken soup for the soul.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. R. S. S.‏ @_R_S_S_ Feb 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/b6Y6FNne1E

        1 reply 1 retweet 26 likes
      3. 1 more reply

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info