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The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 7

    OxiClean Unveils New Stain-Removing Fabric Scissors https://trib.al/lEv1NWY pic.twitter.com/65Y5bQnx6g

    12:39 PM - 7 Feb 2018
    • 328 Retweets
    • 1,528 Likes
    • Jacob Fleming Max Trdina Bri-Anne Jennifer S. Tara Gatliff BioCoffean Adam Bryant deathwish9x [pls gib Apple IIc chips] Salem Bitch Trials
    10 replies 328 retweets 1,528 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Stan Lee Cup‏ @MuzzMuzzington Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Cutting edge technology

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Spellcogo 🧙‍♀️‏ @InsanityPilgrim Feb 8
        Replying to @MuzzMuzzington @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/gpEraFH5Y7

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. foobz‏ @foobz Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Still a @tide ad

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Sugar Booger  🐶‏ @tommitom24 Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My stain has disappeared, and now I own a poncho! Thanks OxiClean!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. chris s‏ @hugoobrock Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Now as their lawyer for "OXI"coat's & life reliever" I must ask; do you mean "Stain" remover? or a new "White Wash" dissolver?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Gnomestar‏ @GnomeOnlyZone Feb 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this is fake news. this was photoshopped from a tide commercial since they had to stop selling tide pods due to how unsafe they were.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Texas Chainsaw Masen-cre  🎃‏ @dockers_clutch Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Introducing the "You know what? Fuck it!" fabric scissors, for those really tough stains that you just want to go away, like that deep, dark pit in your soul that all the kettle corn in the world couldn't fill 😭

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Michael Williams‏ @Arm_chair72 Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        :D

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. David Benjamin West‏ @CowboyDBWest Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those would be great. Probably safer to use than my stain-erasing blowtorch.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Its_me_DBT‏ @DBTINC Feb 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too bad Clinton didn't have access to it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Feb 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dual purpose. No better way to get that ripped and tattered look. Best of all: you can save those cut outs for your foodie scrap book.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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