Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Feb 2

    United Airlines Cracking Down On Emotional Support Spouses https://trib.al/Pbh06Bj pic.twitter.com/arG4tBFSOs

    2:51 PM - 2 Feb 2018
    • 347 Retweets
    • 1,751 Likes
    • Drk 🌹 NOLA Band on the run Lucy Michael Webb turtle Joni Skibo/LaCriox Rlindahl carolyn principe Ally  🐜💖 #5449
    28 replies 347 retweets 1,751 likes
      1. New conversation
      2.  🍹Drunk@Disney 🍍‏ @DrunkAtdisney Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh no @ellliphant

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Queen Ê  👩🏼‍🎤‏ @ellliphant Feb 2
        Replying to @DrunkAtdisney @TheOnion

        Oh shit. What are we gonna do? Can we double down? I’m emotional support for you and @DisneyWineWives

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Parkhopper Ryan’s Not So Scary Halloween Party‏ @FlannelJedi Feb 2
        Replying to @ellliphant @DrunkAtdisney and

        Start flying Spirit?pic.twitter.com/hYzITctfbx

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. lehacarpenter‏ @lehacarpenter Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There goes my gig.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott Jacques‏ @SJacques83 Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Luckily this won’t affect how my wife and I travel together

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Elaine‏ @rosalita2740 Feb 3
        Replying to @ScottJacquesGSU @TheOnion

        Hahaha! I was actually thinking that abt my worse half.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Kelvin‏ @Troubeerdourks Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Finally

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. J. Rose‏ @smaze94357 Feb 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How adorable.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. You may be cozy, but I'm cozier‏ @exeter_acres Feb 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But if I'm married to a peacock I'll be ok......right?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Josh (sometimes) says sort of funny things‏ @joshisarealboy Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Update: they're also now requiring all passengers traveling with "emotional support" children under the age of 10 to show evidence from a medical doctor that they're not diagnosed with "loud, little shits" syndrome.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Evan‏ @TheEvanW Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MrsHovanec

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nina2020 🖊 🛠 🏥 ⚖ ☮ 🏹‏ @CagedBirdsCafe Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bout time. It wouldn't be so bad if they were muzzled. But, as it is they yak yak yak yak.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brother Hezekiah‏ @tupadreway Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good. One nearly bit me the other day on a flight when I offered it a napkin. 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It Looks Air Force One Does The Same Thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Supercords‏ @Supercords Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Suck it peacocks!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lindsay McLaughlin‏ @LindenMcLeaf Feb 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dude: damn, i really wanted this woman to sit on my lap and annoy other passengers for a 3 hr flight. Without having to pay for her to fly. Like emotional support animals do

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. FreakWhisperer‏ @burningmanmike Feb 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When I take my wife, it costs twice as much, and I have half the fun.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Banana Republican 2.0  🌎‏ @tombuchanan271 Feb 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bout **** time.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info