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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 31

    Jamie Dimon Cites Relentless Desire To Watch A Person Die Up Close As Inspiration For Starting Healthcare Company https://trib.al/HnavBT3 pic.twitter.com/wzNBywJ8qW

    8:25 AM - 31 Jan 2018
    • 216 Retweets
    • 822 Likes
    • Chris Grant Andy Jiang 🆒 ʙᴜᴅᴅʜɪꜱᴛ ᴘʟᴀɢᴜᴇ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ spooky dad Ian Juan P. “Tochtli” Jimenez Madrid Brian Stansbury Miles Langame 🔤 🍁pumpkin🍺spice☕️bisexuals🍂
    13 replies 216 retweets 822 likes
      1. J. Dij  💰 🚀‏ @Merica702 Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion stop reporting real world events & news, go back to satire and comedy. 😜🤡🖖

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Dave X‏ @GreatTusker Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too real

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jamie Dimon’s Healthcare Company is located on a one way dead end street.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ben Trolenn and 105 others‏ @BTrolenn Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He's doing great things one urge at a time

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚃𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝙵𝚛𝚞𝚖𝚙 ©‏ @JoeJejune Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Onion now writes headlines based on what their subjects are actually thinking. It's funny because it's true.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Cryptomedes‏ @Cryptomedes Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have an innate desire to watch Dimon being given Intravenous infusion from a colostomy bag.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. James H‏ @JamesH1834 Feb 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is just for entertainment with the real reason being Jamie wants to live forever

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. SanH2O‏ @SanH2O Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dark, but seems like the truth

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Data Fromstartrek‏ @go_csftitans Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He hunts humans for sport

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bankers!pic.twitter.com/l1bRXTYvNi

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As long as it doesn’t become a habit.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Larry Gorkin‏ @LarryGorkin1 Jan 31
        Replying to @DavidHawley2 @TheOnion

        This is akin to Bond's retort to Ursula Andress in Dr No, when Honey described killing her alleged rapist, as a teenager, placing a black-widow spider in his tent- leading to a slow, painful death. Did I do wrong, James? -- Replying @TheOnion As long as it doesn’t become a habit

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

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