Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 27

    Study Finds Health Benefits Associated With Seriously Considering Going Vegetarian For A While Now https://trib.al/n8adqSH pic.twitter.com/d59Z9xSKr0

    3:42 PM - 27 Jan 2018
    • 223 Retweets
    • 1,238 Likes
    • Songmanne Jo Rowley Anne Padilla Annette ♡ George St. Geegland Vampires, but they’re Decopunk Disasters jacob ☠️Metal Godz☠️ Alyssa Molinski
    15 replies 223 retweets 1,238 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jammie Parton: Spooky Edition 🎃 ™️‏ @fantasyofroses Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wonder what the benefits are if you've actually done it, but haven't told anyone? If a vegetarian falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, are they still a vegetarian?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. r.‏ @fvckspeak Jan 28
        Replying to @fantasyofroses @TheOnion

        i understand the cliche of vegans always telling everyone they are vegan, but if one is doing something thats helpful, no matter what it is, doesnt it make sense to tell as many people as possible? because all politics is local 🤔

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Jammie Parton: Spooky Edition 🎃 ™️‏ @fantasyofroses Jan 28
        Replying to @fvckspeak @TheOnion

        I meant no offense. I think being vegetarian/vegan is great! I just wanted to make a silly joke. 🙂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. fricking idiot‏ @GradySteiner17 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion @GodDamnMoron

        @iowabeenie

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Beenie Stein‏ @iowabeenie Jan 27
        Replying to @GradySteiner17 @TheOnion @GodDamnMoron

        😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Oxenmouth News  📽‏ @OxenmouthNews Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’ve lost 5lbs already just by disagreeing with the meat industry whilst eating my #wetherspoons burger

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lex Jurgen‏ @MyTerribleWords Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I can handle vegetarians. They're largely pudgy people pretending they're healthy by eating grilled cheese sandwiches. The vegans are the Jehovah's Witness of the diet world. They will not let you be with their endless gospel.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Aasi Tahir Siddique‏ @Aasii Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I will try plant based diet for three months!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sarah Nyb‏ @SarahNyb Jan 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Advanced murder rate

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jason‏ @dolphfan36 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pass

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I knowpic.twitter.com/stig94BxOH

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John Abbott‏ @loungelizard77 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Over a year or two as a G2 Secure Staff security guard in Madison, I intercepted a razor tool and a pair of scissors from the Badgers when they were on their way to the FINAL FOUR. The TSA was not amused and neither was Gastone (my supervisor).

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. sprinkles‏ @bopen2 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They are!! Also, cut out wheat and sugar. For a week. You will see. Notta joke.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kyle Bouder‏ @BouderKyle Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/dYvV4sBO3X

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Luna Emperatrice‏ @LunaEmperatrice Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion @Integralmathyt

        Hahahahaha @JosePhilosopo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jake Carter‏ @Psylack Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You guys release like... A quadrillion different articles everyday.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info