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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 27

    Rock-Bottom Loser Entertaining Offers From Several Religions https://trib.al/irGagHN pic.twitter.com/4J2Qus0TPX

    7:37 AM - 27 Jan 2018
    • 390 Retweets
    • 2,176 Likes
    • Leon Thotsky 🅾️livi🅰️ Jordan Burris Riley Malone SneakySneak Danny Hegberg Jon Vaughan 🎃Jake O’lantern🎃 sarah
    30 replies 390 retweets 2,176 likes
      1. Brandon Puryear 👉 👌‏ @Brandon_Puryear Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        May the Flying Spaghetti Monster hold and keep him in his noodely appendages.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. Mobius‏ @Mobius___Strip Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No I'm not

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
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      1. janey v.  ❄‏ @nycjaneyvee Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This was a funny read.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area Atheist says: come over to the dark side and smoke weed with us. #freedomfromreligion

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Kuno‏ @SailorSupernova Jan 27
        Replying to @boingboingbbeep @TheOnion

        Area born again says: come over to the grace of God and smoke weed with us #jesusforgives

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Chris DeCambra‏ @CDeCambra Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @gabe_pasons83 how do they keep comin up with this shit?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Jared Allen Rankin‏ @braveadultclub Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Church of What's Happening Now is an early favorite

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Lunster‏ @lunster81 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just go with it, pretend to be a believer, like most priests.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Lillian Irvin Snider ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️‏ @LillianSnider3 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Doesn’t matter his political views... this is sad!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Adan Garcia‏ @Culalam Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why FFS? All religion is fake news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Jenna W Rowell‏ @JenNarrator Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thank you for the hardest laugh in a long time.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Daniel AdamThomas‏ @Danadamthomas Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Owen Pritchard, has turned down eternal redemption, rebirth as a king & secrets of the universe! He says, "Thats not good enough, these Religious Orders have to sweeten the pot, like throw in a sports car or maybe a trip."

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well at least he's thinking about it

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Damon J. Watts‏ @DamonJWatts Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The line between my life and the Onion's depiction of American scrubs is pretty damn thin :/

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Simon‏ @SasinSimon Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes, you pray to god after digesting one of these.pic.twitter.com/DaVqrLX6Sn

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. i guess you're‏ @going_to_miss_ Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The onion gets paid to make up funny fake news stories. God bless them for the shit they put out

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Dan de Brand‏ @DanDeBrand Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Yh1QScTvV5

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Miguel de Háwk‏ @Bigri23 Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @iSayPwn

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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