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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 26

    UPS Reports Troubling Drop In Residents Answering Doors In Lingerie https://trib.al/ppPxCjl pic.twitter.com/GKRTn6fE7K

    5:38 AM - 26 Jan 2018
    • 162 Retweets
    • 1,064 Likes
    • Ms. Super Party Wonder Fun Day Rosa t Dan Madere Pierre-Simon Laplace Andy Paul aiden Jesus
    20 replies 162 retweets 1,064 likes
      1. Disgruntled Superman‏ @TurntKryptonian Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion @JerryOrdway

        This is definitely a national crisis

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The ones that still do think this qualifies as lingerie....pic.twitter.com/HfX1zU3SD4

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Josh (sometimes) says sort of funny things‏ @joshisarealboy Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I blame the porn industry. We look to them to set the standard of what's supposed to happen in these situations, and they're just dropping the ball.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Nanotek‏ @S1n1sterPink Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Onions are tasty

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Steve Klokeid‏ @sklokeid Feb 3
        Replying to @klokeid @TheOnion

        Hard to concentrate and stay focused on the complicated work of handing people packages. Huge problem!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mark Baines‏ @MarkSBaines Jan 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've never answered the door in lingerie!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dave Bow‏ @djfly1212 Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thanks, Obama... oh wait

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. RHS 🎓Fabio Marching Band 2018‏ @Fabioguevara20 Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Because I was 6 years Band I was coyle middle school Band and now I am at Rowlett high school Marching Band

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. RHS 🎓Fabio Marching Band 2018‏ @Fabioguevara20 Jan 28
        Replying to @Fabioguevara20 @TheOnion

        I need more votes I should stay Band and or quite Band

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. destin loan‏ @destinloan Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There goes my career.....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Furlong‏ @RoombaWithAView Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are you not aware of the cold snap in this nation? I suspect if you analyze the data, you'll find an uptick in cotton bathrobes.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wish

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It was the best job perk for a repetitive process. Luckily the automatic door systems will soon talk dirty in addition to cam action.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Comedy Panda‏ @TheComedyPanda Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the problem we should really be focusing on. #lingerieforeveryone

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. j-dub‏ @jasonwaddell Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @dynomicah

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Susie Ho‏ @gamma_susie Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They should try scheduling deliveries closer to bed time. Should help.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Nerf Guns‏ @ProKidAntiGun Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've got a PACKAGE here for...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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