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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 25

    The Onion Retweeted The Onion

    “He’s basically on a year-and-a-half vacation where he gets to chill in bed all day while his friends and family bring him balloons and flowers. That fucker gets all the breaks.”https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/956619230102908928 …

    The Onion added,

    The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
    Lucky Bastard Gets To Be In Coma https://trib.al/Ntkr7bK  pic.twitter.com/EgwHLu6eul
    9:25 PM - 25 Jan 2018
    • 1,013 Retweets
    • 5,316 Likes
    • ladywithglasses grace 🤪 Rimah Micah Alex Parker Shan-non Ethan Maymir Jassydapoo
    34 replies 1,013 retweets 5,316 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. kylie‏ @kyysch Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @AlissaPescheck

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Alissa‏ @alissa_pesch Jan 25
        Replying to @kyysch @TheOnion

        Luckyyyyyyyyyyy

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Alissa‏ @alissa_pesch Jan 25
        Replying to @alissa_pesch @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/02uns8M8IR

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Dark Mark‏ @DarkMarkMusic Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...and the weight loss, i mean jeez

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Kate S‏ @mypdxkitchen Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah but he's going to have a heart attack when he wakes up & watches the news

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Benjamin Preston‏ @benjamachine Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        All joking aside, coma is a surefire way to avoid any and all news about President Voldemort for a while. Wait, who am I kidding? He'd find a way in.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Benjamin Preston‏ @benjamachine Jan 26
        Replying to @RealSlavMan @TheOnion

        Mmmm.. that sounds like it'd be really smooth on a piece of toast.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Andrea ( Ugly Four Eyes) #DefyTheName‏ @mindful_me2 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Please wake me when Trump is impeached

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Fred Fredburger‏ @KaBucchi Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sometimes I envy people in prison, they get to sleep all day if they choose and they have a wall and guards to protect them from people who might want to break in. And free cable.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. PhD on L.S.D.‏ @360_Burnout Jan 25
        Replying to @KaBucchi @TheOnion

        3 hots and a cot!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Parmesan & Pinot‏ @ParmesanPinot Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And he's been in a coma since before the 2016 election.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Erik‏ @Zaps80 Jan 25
        Replying to @ParmesanPinot @TheOnion

        I feel like medically induced comas until the post-Trump era/apocalypse (whichever comes first) could be a huge business opportunity.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jon Cellini‏ @JonathanCellini Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MgsOuterHaven "You've been in a coma for... quite some time"pic.twitter.com/mCUDZ3Xbyq

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Kayla Harry‏ @kaylabharry Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BasedOnWonder 🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. realcooldad‏ @realcooldadxvx Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/c8S08qvEiy

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. .‏ @HalIncandenzaJR Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah but he will probably die when he wakes up and sees the hospital bill

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Manjit S. Toor  🇨🇦‏ @manjit_toor98 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I envy that man.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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