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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 25

    Lucky Bastard Gets To Be In Coma https://trib.al/Ntkr7bK pic.twitter.com/EgwHLu6eul

    12:06 PM - 25 Jan 2018
    • 3,224 Retweets
    • 8,164 Likes
    • cjd Lexie Nice meme Donuts4Hair William Greene Teddy Greta Lester Erikson rita
    46 replies 3,224 retweets 8,164 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Cheydinal‏ @Cheleykva Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait, so theoretically I could put myself into an artificial coma and just wake up in like 3 years?

        1 reply 0 retweets 25 likes
      3. scottydont‏ @Shcottydont Jan 25
        Replying to @Cheleykva @TheOnion

        Buy Bitcoin and coma.

        1 reply 0 retweets 27 likes
      4. Cheydinal‏ @Cheleykva Jan 26
        Replying to @Shcottydont @TheOnion

        You're going to coma from having invested Bitcoin anyway in at most like a year #Bubble

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. NYAN INCH NAILS‏ @Kamunt Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        god I wish that were me

        0 replies 0 retweets 50 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. The Growling Panther‏ @growlingpanther Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Some jokes are NOT funny if you happen to have someone in that situation. I would call it a tasteless Al Franken-style joke.

        8 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. (((Sarah)))‏ @smpa Jan 25
        Replying to @growlingpanther @TheOnion

        I survived my (medically induced) coma; I judge this joke to be moderately funny because I'm OK not having any memory of November 2016 and more than one person has said I'm lucky to have missed it. I don't plan on asking my family what they think, however.

        0 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sugar Booger  🐶‏ @tommitom24 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He doesn't even have to wash his own genitals. So glamourous!

        1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Christine Sharp‏ @christinesharp Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I would pay to be put into a coma until #trump is out of office.

        3 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Ami‏ @Ami15675592 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I need to be in a coma, this is unfair

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Adan Garcia‏ @Culalam Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Diet while in coma, wake up 20 lbs lighter. Genius!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. SPIDERSHyphenMan‏ @SpiderHyphenMan Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i thought this was gonna be about the desire to escape from the chaos that is the modern world and not about laziness

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Sheets‏ @Sheets86 Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @datsunwith2os

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Austin Klavins‏ @austin_klavins Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @melissssss_

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. meliss‏ @melissssss_ Jan 25
        Replying to @austin_klavins @TheOnion

        lucky is an understatement

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott‏ @scottk1350 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Comes out in 2020 and asks why the long faces?

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply

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