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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 25

    Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him https://www.theonion.com/1822418205 pic.twitter.com/wVn82sBoRY

    10:33 AM - 25 Jan 2018
    • 1,591 Retweets
    • 6,349 Likes
    • Justin Wheeler WWE News Texas Hedge Brian Kane 💀Midnight Zest Train🔨 Dark Velvet Kelly Brickman Susan Salomon Vivian Goodman
    38 replies 1,591 retweets 6,349 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 25

        “Sorry, I drifted off there.” https://trib.al/GeUYpSB pic.twitter.com/jy4XVrkaQR

        5 replies 84 retweets 449 likes
        Show this thread
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      1. New conversation
      2.  ❄️ Alt-Right Jesus  🌊‏ @realrightjesus Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This gives me an idea… Can we automate my second coming? I’m obviously not coming, so y’all might want to work on that. #NotComing #JesusLetDown

        2 replies 2 retweets 11 likes
      3. CrazyGermanHag‏ @AnkeBodzin Jan 25
        Replying to @realrightjesus @TheOnion

        Oh, I wish a woman had tweeted this.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4.  ❄️ Alt-Right Jesus  🌊‏ @realrightjesus Jan 25
        Replying to @AnkeBodzin @TheOnion

        Sorry. I am frequently disappointing.

        1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
      5. CrazyGermanHag‏ @AnkeBodzin Jan 25
        Replying to @realrightjesus @TheOnion

        I can forgive you, no worries. 😙

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. NeiloGD‏ @neilogd Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion @ladyaeva

        Who doesn't think about that? I go one step further, how to automate everyone around me....including myself.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. NeiloGD‏ @neilogd Jan 25
        Replying to @neilogd @TheOnion @ladyaeva

        My ideal final destination is to be fed into the boiler that powers the script that automates me. My life will be complete.

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. Aeva Poltergeist  👻 🎶‏ @ladyaeva Jan 25
        Replying to @neilogd @TheOnion

        *steps back slowly*

        1 reply 0 retweets 17 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. Justin List‏ @JustinList Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Ekf7WWg7lc

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Alexandria Brangwin‏ @AlexBrangwin Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion @slhamlet

        Oh hell...suddenly this doesn't seem like comedy news anymore😱

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Nerf Guns‏ @ProKidAntiGun Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        An inside look at the @TheOnion office:pic.twitter.com/db2fKGo5Fc

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. no cops no terfs‏ @nifty_nif Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is too real

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Debbie Jellinsky  👻‏ @GrannyWeatherw4 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Me too, Jeff. Me too.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Dylan‏ @Dylanthepundit Jan 26
        Replying to @OwenColby @TheOnion @joshtpm

        SALAD

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. The Pumpkin Spice Librarian  📚‏ @heather_never Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If he has a trillion $ can he get his lazy eyelid fixed? Asking for a friend.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The micro chip goes where

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Katie Bevins‏ @kadbevins36 Jan 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh Onion. You make me smile. I love you❤️😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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