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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

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    1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 24

      NASA Issues Formal Apology For 1969 Genocide Of Moon Natives https://trib.al/xBkK4xT pic.twitter.com/OgBC0Bxaz9

      75 replies 793 retweets 3,129 likes
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      The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 24

      “The time has come to recognize NASA’s detestable role in the massacre of the moon’s original inhabitants.” https://trib.al/g6s3JTa pic.twitter.com/9ZQkeT7kxO

      5:35 PM - 24 Jan 2018
      • 87 Retweets
      • 353 Likes
      • John Smith Enzo Chalo #BeGreater Alejandro Guzman Andy Dr. L.O.Gic Nick Orlando🚀 Jared R Esme2822 📢
      15 replies 87 retweets 353 likes
        1. Sugar Booger  🐶‏ @tommitom24 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          I think I can speak for all moon people when I say apology not accepted.

          0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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        1. Authentic Don Holley™‏ @donholley0 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          pic.twitter.com/6n3839akrf

          0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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        1. New conversation
        2. Fred Fredburger‏ @KaBucchi Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          I think a nice gift basket would be appropriate. Maybe include cheeses from across the globe.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. Matt‏ @warpedman Jan 24
          Replying to @KaBucchi @TheOnion

          I'm thinking maybe a gift card too, maybe an Itunes card or a Google Play card...

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Michael Oldroyd‏ @TheDroyd Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Did you start a holiday called Thanksgiving afterwards?

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        1. McMagic‏ @Rj_InCan_AB Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Just like what happened to the natives on east coast when the first ships arrived ,but we don’t talk about that geocide right trump bc u where always here

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        1. Larry Gorkin‏ @LarryGorkin1 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Pink Floyd warned in 1973, via "Dark Side of the Moon." As noted, initially relationship was of mutual respect. Then, NASArian nation exploited natives, became inured to their treatment, & uncomfortably numb - NASA’s massacre of moon’s original inhabitantshttps://trib.al/g6s3JTa 

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. Scott‏ @scottk1350 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          The rest were send to reservations on the Dark Side of the Moon.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. Nerf Guns‏ @ProKidAntiGun Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          NASA is literally space Hitler. Even Darth Vader had morals.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Matt‏ @warpedman Jan 24
          Replying to @ProKidAntiGun @TheOnion

          Exactly! At least Vader blew up a planet point blank, quick and painless genocide...

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Brian McClurg‏ @bareknucklefox Jan 25
          Replying to @TheOnion

          @JustinTrudeau

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Well, it was expected.... The 2nd Astronaut on the moon (and the obvious “muscle” of the operation) was Buzz Aldrin! And he didn’t get the moniker “Buzz” from his haircut!! More like mowing down the moon men!! Look what he did to the guy who accused him of not going to the moon!pic.twitter.com/ErcCAya1VV

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Gunlord of Morskar‏ @AntiMikeS422 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          pic.twitter.com/t4v10dP3vs

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          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        2. Karen Newcombe‏ @KarenNewcombe Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          I know someone who actually believes in this. And Nibiru. And contrail induced plagues. 😑

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. David M. Davis‏ @SSG_Davis_Ret Jan 24
          Replying to @KarenNewcombe @TheOnion

          I had to actually look it up, and I got a link to “The Onion.”

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. David M. Davis‏ @SSG_Davis_Ret Jan 24
          Replying to @SSG_Davis_Ret @KarenNewcombe @TheOnion

          If you actually go to the website, you get this, “At press time, NASA had also issued an apology for its role in toppling the democratic government of Neptune during the Voyager 2 mission.”

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. End of conversation
        1. Sarcastic Kamikaze‏ @bmw35677 Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          It's our manifest destiny as superior people, Americans, to dominate and if so be decimate inferior races.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Ben Trolenn and 105 others‏ @BTrolenn Jan 24
          Replying to @TheOnion

          I was born that year, thank the blood gods that I we slaughtered them instead of the easiest sacrifices around; infants..

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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