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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 24

    New Study Finds Americans Need 6 Hours Of Sleep At Work https://trib.al/Ep0mmjh pic.twitter.com/VZjyP3JAhZ

    6:28 AM - 24 Jan 2018
    • 845 Retweets
    • 3,502 Likes
    • Susan Staley Justice Democrats CO Wondrouscrystals Matty Chris Em varchar 🎃Spooky🤔 Julie DoBias Anne Blinch
    40 replies 845 retweets 3,502 likes
      1. y@‏ @BenderIsGreat54 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to live in the parallel universe where @TheOnion reports real life news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Bob‏ @bobpi31415 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can we all get “executive time”?

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Carlo Silvio‏ @cowboycoffee Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Here's your answer, @Nifer

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Jennifer Diamond‏ @Nifer Jan 24
        Replying to @cowboycoffee @TheOnion

        Bringing my pillow in today

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. BGM_FinalKnight‏ @bertm1975 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        George Costanza had it figured out years ago...pic.twitter.com/DTXX7XfY8u

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Dan can...not.‏ @RegrettedYes Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/1ojxTFbsnv

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. john thornton‏ @jtispoindexter Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @AndrewBellBNN

        couple that with 1 hour for lunch and 1 hour of catching up on social media - your work day is full ;-)

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Dick Swett 🅥‏ @DickSwett6 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the first real news I’ve seen since I was Ambassador to Denmark from 1998-2001.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Ariel Goldberger‏ @GoldbergerAriel Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DebbieSimja Y babe tambien

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Debbie S. Schmal‏ @DebbieSimja Jan 24
        Replying to @GoldbergerAriel @TheOnion

        Jajajajja me encanta este estudio!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Christina‏ @ChristinaWick1 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is glorious

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Kate the SCARY‏ @grumpy0906 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Matthew_Jussim

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Kellyanne Revenaugh‏ @kellenaugh Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Skipper661

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. #Bluewave2018 (NRA is a terrorist org)‏ @jbsportz Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @CDChrysalis

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. DJ Rider‏ @DJay_Rider Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @robbypreally this speaks to you

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Janice‏ @rockdragon2007 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @darewhee

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. ME Action Now‏ @MEActNOW Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @terrywalters

        Lol! Report employers who don't let you have your 6 hours!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Chricelan‏ @Chricelan Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        change this to millennials and nobody would question it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🐶tayler 🐱‏ @taylernap Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @JenCattaneo

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Elle MacNab‏ @ElleMacNab Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Once upon a time I had a co-worker guilty of this. I happened upon his naps more than once. He did not sleep in his own cubicle, but found quiet places in the office. (True story)

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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