Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 23

    Man Who Baked Banana Bread Spends Entire Party Anxiously Watching It Go Uneaten https://trib.al/3urLwtx pic.twitter.com/t9ADkoly6c

    5:08 PM - 23 Jan 2018
    • 624 Retweets
    • 3,969 Likes
    • kia David Garcia blackpantspromotions Mario Morales huzaifa motara hoodie Cheef beef dina Chris Em
    84 replies 624 retweets 3,969 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. MetaDaemon‏ @metadaemon Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Reminds me of the spicy BBQ meatloaf I made and brought to Thanksgiving years ago. I was so sure it would be a hit.

        2 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
      3. proletariat‏ @File__Not_Found Jan 23
        Replying to @metadaemon @TheOnion

        I bet it was awesome bud 👍🏻

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Megan  🎃‏ @shmegz Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is so sad.

        0 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. TheLoopV 🇺🇸 📷 👀‏ @TheLoop12741459 Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Slice it, fool!

        1 reply 0 retweets 22 likes
      3. Jim Teal‏ @therealjimteal Jan 23
        Replying to @TheLoop12741459 @TheOnion

        And then slice those slices in half so people don’t feel greedy

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Marybeth Horn‏ @MarybethHorn6 Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does anyone else feel sad with this character or am I just weird.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ☆Cheshire☆  🔜 PAX AUS‏ @CheshirePlays Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion @ABigDumbBaby

        Please invite this man to all my parties.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Conor McCormack‏ @ctmc_ Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @katie6813

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Katherine‏ @katie6813 Jan 23
        Replying to @ctmc_ @TheOnion

        I woulda just ate all of it myself and pretended everyone else wasn’t there tbh

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Ipsi the spooky skeleton  💀‏ @Ips_cali Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fuck that, I'll eat it to make him happy

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. €ricÏdlefan‏ @DrColinfan Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        _I_ like banana bread.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Ryan Murphy‏ @ryanpmurphy02 Jan 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @emlume08

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Emily Meg‏ @emlume08 Jan 24
        Replying to @ryanpmurphy02 @TheOnion

        Area woman never has that fear about her banana bread

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  ☕️ aggie  🦇‏ @aggieeww Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This made me sad for real lmao @sevenswns

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. biggie smols‏ @sevenswns Jan 23
        Replying to @aggieeww @TheOnion

        my heart hurts wtf

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4.  ☕️ aggie  🦇‏ @aggieeww Jan 23
        Replying to @sevenswns @TheOnion

        THE ONION IS SUPPOSED 2 B FUNNY

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. KimEst‏ @Kiokiest Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is so heartbreakingpic.twitter.com/D9quvSJXrr

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ITS MAGMA NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.‏ @NetWorkWriter Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        MY ENEMIES WANT ME TO BREAK ME MORALLY AND I GOING TO BRING MY DEFENSE FORCE WITH ME WHICH IS DOD USA 🇺🇸 AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING LIKE CHAKA AND TRANSGENDER

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. That Spooky Mudkip‏ @brai_1993 Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well I'll have it then

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Deimos‏ @MusingsOfDeimos Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Admit it, on some level, we'd all feel anxiety over whether or not our banana bread was eaten by others. Perhaps we see it as a proxy for our own social acceptance, eagerly wanting to be accepted -even desired - by others. @TheOnion is in touch with the zeitgeist of our time.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Deimos‏ @MusingsOfDeimos Jan 23
        Replying to @MusingsOfDeimos @TheOnion

        #iswearimnotprojecting

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info