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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 22

    Researchers Say That First Warning Sign Of Alcoholism Generally Driving Over Curb, Plowing Through Fire Hydrant, And Crashing Into Aquarium https://trib.al/3lrYw2D pic.twitter.com/lw18vDFPbb

    8:08 AM - 22 Jan 2018
    • 379 Retweets
    • 2,179 Likes
    • Ian Babcock Johnny L Jacobs Amanda Brown Chelsey Martinez Henna “it’s basically Halloween” Sandhu Cleodolinda Pinto Gabriel Moraes Sean Whalen Kamala Shanti
    47 replies 379 retweets 2,179 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 22

        Lead researcher Brian Towsen added that most participants in the study first acknowledged they might have a drinking problem while watching gallons of water and aquarium rocks pour in through their car’s broken windshield. https://trib.al/JGagT7W pic.twitter.com/kTG7oxCYn9

        6 replies 38 retweets 247 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Eli Pacheco‏ @eli_thebeard Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @wolfofmomstreet we’re in the clear

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. John Flores‏ @wolfofmomstreet Jan 22
        Replying to @eli_thebeard @TheOnion

        LOL phew, guess waking up on a sidewalk ain’t no thang!

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. pat blake‏ @EePat Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There is something fishy about this photo.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur Jan 22
        Replying to @EePat @TheOnion

        Get out.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. pat blake‏ @EePat Jan 22
        Replying to @TyVulpintaur @TheOnion

        . I'm a disgrace.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. 1 more reply
      1. Dr. American Jesus Ph.D, DDS, Pharm.D, FACS, Esq.‏ @DrAmericanJesus Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are there any earlier signs? Like cyclic vomiting or crashing into dog parks? I have a paper due.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Angela‏ @Angelagroome1 Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What's the second sign just incase we miss the first sign

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Now I Lazen-me Down to Sleep (1977)‏ @dystopiansmile Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It used to be "parking your car inside of Blockbuster and getting out amid the falling plaster and chaos, screaming that you're so, so sorry." Times are a'changing

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Euán‏ @corvusprodo Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And purchase of Prius.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      2. Steven Crane‏ @k4phz Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        While driving a Prius

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Rob Delach‏ @GeoTechie Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        For many American drivers, it doesn't take alcohol to #Drive this badly. It comes naturally.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ben Trolenn and 105 others‏ @BTrolenn Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I did that onshe and I'm not alcowutsitcalled.. hic!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. C$G‏ @Corey_BUCN Jan 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @RoyWotring sounds accurate #FriendshipFriday #LetsGoBucs

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ethan‏ @everhartmusic Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @zachrpainter

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Corin Nemec‏Verified account @imcorinnemec Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This research seems flawed

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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