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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 21

    God Weirded Out By Christian Who Loves Him After Only Month In Church https://trib.al/2JRVAdC pic.twitter.com/K9ElHPEj5F

    12:15 PM - 21 Jan 2018
    • 567 Retweets
    • 3,215 Likes
    • 3timesbetter harald schmidt Solen’ya 🥒🐀 🌊🛡️🦈PROTECT TRANS PEOPLE🦈🛡️🌊 MoonBrain Hiker Pierre-Simon Laplace MJ Faith Daniel
    23 replies 567 retweets 3,215 likes
      1. ~Big Cat~‏ @Colin_Lyon Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The onion has been on fire lately

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. A.‏ @0orion0_ Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is old. God has already apologized to Dale explaining that night, things weren't going well, and given the fake love in the church these days, it was difficult to believe someone actually cared. Mr Evans, God is truly sorry, and hopes you can find forgiveness in your heart.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Emskware‏ @emskware2015 Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/ifCHGjCHsF

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. MONTY‏ @IsaiahReinhardt Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @josephtdavey

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wonder how The Onion gets a hold of God for their editorialspic.twitter.com/9Ck1rZzQIH

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. altcntrldel‏ @altcntrldel Jan 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just a couple things needed for eternal salvation. Complete obedience and I need ten percent of your gross income.pic.twitter.com/qnnpZXVcDu

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ben Trolenn and 105 others‏ @BTrolenn Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lol a girl likes me in high school after first time hearing my voice! This dude doesn't know wielded out and that girl didn't know I'm anass

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Attila Gokbudak‏ @Tilly70 Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Very funny! This helps me cope with living in the Bible Belt where some people actually leave behind religious propaganda in public library bathrooms...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. morg1291‏ @morg1291 Jan 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cheydinal‏ @Cheleykva Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Winston Smith loved Big Brother after only a handful of days in the Ministry of Love

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Majestic Walrus‏ @MajesticWalrus_ Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You could say the same about an unborn baby. Loving someone who is not even born yet and who could grow up to be an asshole. But nooo im a bad person if i say that and defending religion is so bad

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Michael Howard‏ @Loraxpro Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny because it’s true. @rickygervais #athiest Fun Fact: if you break the word atheist into the words ‘at’ and ‘heist’ you have stolen the word ‘at’ which is a sin, according to a book written by God on his typewriter in heaven. They don’t have WiFi in heaven. #truestory

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🌸Mrs.Janie 🚫 Ⓜ️ 1️⃣ 0️⃣ 3️⃣ ⛓Trudeau Must Go‏ @Janie_St_K Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Rude

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. nedeljkobalog‏ @nedeljkobalog17 Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        dobra slika

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. tara lee cheesman‏ @tarawasjesus Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But what god think about love at first sight?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Lizzy Leigh‏ @gdnightelizbeth Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #imaday1 #deal

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. dragonsmark‏ @Dragons_Mark Jan 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        creeps

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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