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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 14

    Study: 84% Of Couples Who Walk Around Exploring New Neighborhood Never Make It Home https://trib.al/UbKUKpW pic.twitter.com/jeiYrBoHqj

    2:12 PM - 14 Jan 2018
    • 127 Retweets
    • 1,148 Likes
    • TreyThirds John M. Valdez Ian Pedersen ᶜᵒˡᵈ ᵠᵘᵉᵉʳ ᶜᵒˡᵈ ᵒᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ David Hawley Filip Hnízdo Anja Filipič logwllms Elon Musket
    14 replies 127 retweets 1,148 likes
      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe they should have checked first to see the Zombie threat level (Red, Orange or Green) before they left... Serves them right for not being observant...pic.twitter.com/RlYaa3JpFI

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. JP‏ @WhiskeyPusher Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The other 16% only got home thanks to reading reviews on Yelp.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Vollalujah‏ @volzman71 Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah but they do end up somewhere

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Mik‏ @mik_is_a_kid Jan 14
        Replying to @volzman71 @TheOnion

        The next episode of forensic files

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jay Bissin‏ @dragon_energy_j Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jenniferrante

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Robert Turner‏ @RRobovski Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        26% captured by second family.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. James  🏳️‍🌈‏ @SEVES99 Jan 14
        Replying to @RRobovski @TheOnion

        That is not maths

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Robert Turner‏ @RRobovski Jan 14
        Replying to @SEVES99 @TheOnion

        No, that's Numberwang!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. ssmiless‏ @ssmiless3 Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’ve been going around this block for 14 years 😛

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Darwin Woodka‏ @darwinwoodka Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I hope so! Want to move so much!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Deterraformer‏ @deterraformer Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If they find one of our crop circles, the abduction process will be automatically initiated by the mothership. Stand-by for the blinding light Earthlings

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Shuffles‏ @McShufts Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @agitatedduck think this applies to holiday destinations? #milan #werenotlostitsscenic #ohlooktheprison

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeff Butts‏ @jeffbutts Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe try this for an article: Cities across the country try to make neighborhoods more walkable by requiring big yards and off-street parking

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeff Butts‏ @jeffbutts Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You first need a neighborhood that has destinations instead of single-use zoning

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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