Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 14

    Queen Elizabeth Hoping She Dies Before Having To Knight Any DJs https://trib.al/zua3UFy pic.twitter.com/wi7DrgUm34

    9:21 AM - 14 Jan 2018
    • 1,598 Retweets
    • 7,547 Likes
    • wolfpeach Paul Steenkiste small tiddy goth gf JJ DJ KeiOne Tizu (MiMi) pingüino polite boi slim burton
    43 replies 1,598 retweets 7,547 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Perkins‏ @perkinsms Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought she already did this with Mr. Mix-a-lot?

        5 replies 2 retweets 98 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Ei2g‏ @SurrealScoop Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sir Jimmy Young and Sir Terry Wogan might not have agreed!

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Matthew Randal'l ಠಠ‏ @Matthew_Randall Jan 14
        Replying to @SurrealScoop @TheOnion

        And erm the one we no longer mention (in 1973!)

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. DBryte‏ @DBryte Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Smiths had a better idea...

        0 replies 2 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. HARMON SPORTS‏ @PhilHarmonC Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She already died and no one told her

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There is no way the queen is going to die, She is planning to do at least another 200 yrs

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jack Sharp‏ @shartinchestnut Jan 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @arnettwill

        Hurry @DJ_German98 there’s not much time!!

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or meet Donald Trump.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Paul Macleod‏ @paulmacleod69 Jan 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh go on, you know you want to!pic.twitter.com/wl5yujdDGG

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Canadian_Front_Bacon‏ @1_uzername_gone Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds like she'll be leaving the job feet first....#poor Charles, the king who never Will be.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Expecting People to Work for Exposure McKnight‏ @GAMcKnight Jan 14
        Replying to @BC_WizzDumb @TheOnion

        She will literally last just long enough to bury him...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. thicc at nite‏ @ashleybmeyer Jan 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        if all the music you listen to in 10 years is curated by robots & algorithms, you'd be more grateful for DJs.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Posh‏ @PoshTheStrwbrry Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I will always like this article

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve Schmidt‏ @Heardbeast Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion @mattgurney

        She's looking more like my mom every day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rob Cain‏ @cain_rob Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i have it on good authority that Her Majesty & Price Philip are quite the fans of a bit of headbanging techno.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Notorious P.I.G.‏ @DJ_Digipig Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sir Norman Cook has a nice ring to it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. B‏ @Bryan_Infiniti Jan 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @EmceeGoCry

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info