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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 12

    "You can’t be expected to keep an eye on me 24/7, and of course, you have to sleep at some point." https://trib.al/PVbD0xr pic.twitter.com/tiJXGAhBFX

    12:45 PM - 12 Jan 2018
    • 726 Retweets
    • 2,773 Likes
    • ADoug HEAVY D FLETCHER 🔎✒️🕵️‍♀️ anemia earhart Hi! I'm the wicked weiner! Jordan🎏 David Steinfeldt lando Joseph Franklin Gregg Alley
    34 replies 726 retweets 2,773 likes
      1. GamingprincessLuna©‏ @neokiva Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @Daddy_Warpig

        pic.twitter.com/8AVeBWNVwc

        0 replies 4 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Linguica‏ @andrewrstine Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yes yes yes, you were early on the meme, very good, brownie points for you

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Jerk Store‏ @jerk_store_ Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @sundaelove

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3.  👻 🐈 👻‏ @sundaelove Jan 12
        Replying to @jerk_store_ @TheOnion

        i bet your kiddo never tried to eat one though

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Jerk Store‏ @jerk_store_ Jan 12
        Replying to @sundaelove @TheOnion

        No she likes tossing them in the wash tho.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5.  👻 🐈 👻‏ @sundaelove Jan 12
        Replying to @jerk_store_ @TheOnion

        awww. well she has common sense not to eat them at least

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Jerk Store‏ @jerk_store_ Jan 12
        Replying to @sundaelove @TheOnion

        Unlike some ADULTS!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. Ivy‏ @IvyTwisted Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @Daddy_Warpig

        That's why in case I procreate I'm gonna buy powdered laundry detergent... kids do stupid stuff

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Marilyn Yvonne (King) Nowak‏ @mernino2k2 Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My nephew climbed on the kitchen sink, opened the locked cupboard & drank blue cold medicine because he thought it was freshie. Chad Killoran Heffernan from RR10 (former 28 North now county road 29)... Sue & Ed were quick thinking. He went to Energy & given syrup of Epicack. Live

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Marilyn Yvonne (King) Nowak‏ @mernino2k2 Jan 12
        Replying to @mernino2k2 @TheOnion

        He is an adult now. That's debatable sometimes. I love him because he was the first kid to make me an aunt. I was 15 when he was born.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Alex Neri‏ @AlexNeri__ Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @byeohlet

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Shane‏ @Altopiedi4088 Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Hunt_Perry

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Matt Shirley‏ @MattorShirley Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BRITTANYLSINGER so good

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ice.Zeus 🏒‏ @JoeyAMancuso Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Arkangel

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Trevor Jones‏ @trevorjones46 Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well that will clean the nappies

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. mr robotter‏ @bwandsy13 Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @bryceslach

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. sam malatesta‏ @sam_malatesta Jan 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Repostpic.twitter.com/xn2xm2dwtN

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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