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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 10

    Everything That Can Go Wrong Listed https://trib.al/DHKIsg7 pic.twitter.com/mhvCLRHDKz

    12:03 PM - 10 Jan 2018
    • 308 Retweets
    • 930 Likes
    • Ace High Bobby Hartnett Privacy Pro PLOW YUNG ARTHRITIS Will Hayes Brycen M. Aaliyah non stop resister 🌊🌊🌊 A can of quiet spam
    23 replies 308 retweets 930 likes
      1. bitch du jour‏ @bitchdujour Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My brain does a quick review of this list every time I consider leaving the house.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Brandall Brake‏ @brandallbrake Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ironically, on the last day of the project both supercomputers crashed simultaneously, and since there was no alternative backup, the list was lost.pic.twitter.com/LNPlrM2ZB8

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Ken Porter‏ @KensAudioBoston Jan 10
        Replying to @brandallbrake @TheOnion

        If only that had been higher than #218 on the list itself, someone might have paid attention to it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Meta Thinker  🐬‏ @Meta_thinker Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/7mLWxPWsZs

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. moglii‏ @MattyHaze4 Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Neck breaks while clowning around lmao.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Natasha Snelgrove‏ @natasha7md Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This isn’t a complete list

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Lawrence Grierson‏ @LawrencGrierson Jan 10
        Replying to @natasha7md @TheOnion

        I’m so glad someone else read this.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. No Body‏ @BBBubby77 Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You forgot Hillary becomes POTUS.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Sandro‏ @SFracca Jan 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Police horse bites off your finger when you offer it an apple, lose your keys in a holly bush, neighbours at it again, dentist has bad breath, blow a tire on a two lane bridge, toilet water reservoir tank cracks and explodes in the middle of the night, bad actors, out of wine.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny, they didn’t mention the obvious... It happens all the time in the Mid-West...pic.twitter.com/WzMYlTPktg

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cary Boswell‏ @CaryBoswell Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Demonj17‏ @Damonj17 Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Friends, family learn the truth"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Deimos‏ @MusingsOfDeimos Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel much better now. #faceyourfears

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken Porter‏ @KensAudioBoston Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Been done.https://youtu.be/kjHQwRsROuc 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Suzi Stockpot‏ @suzistockpot Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pretty comprehensive. “Everyone finds out yr a fraud” 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pretty sure you a few trillion things short on this list. Will hash it out later.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter Khokhlov‏ @PeterKhokhlov Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The full file is over 2 gigabytes of text.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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