Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 9

    Study Finds 90% Of Adopted Children’s Biological Parents Own Mansions https://trib.al/3sIbHjx pic.twitter.com/HmUfsowrbJ

    3:47 PM - 9 Jan 2018
    • 118 Retweets
    • 1,021 Likes
    • Dav Joseph Sutton Atom Paul Moehringer For.Unlawful.Carnal.Knowledge Jason Tweetboy 𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔶.𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭 genna Link Hogthrob
    21 replies 118 retweets 1,021 likes
      1. Weeaboo #7391-G‏ @Deskbot000 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The lesson here is that selling your kids is a good idea.

        0 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Absolu1e Zero‏ @Absolu1eZero Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Plot twist... 29% of Mansion owners are former Orphans...pic.twitter.com/KKKIpGNCwy

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. dooppy Ⓥ‏ @Dooppy Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wanna be mad but that house is just so symmetrical 🙃😏

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Derrick USANOW‏ @USANOW14 Jan 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Boring unfunny!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bryant VanderLei  🌹‏ @vanderleibry Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        dad is as much of a bastard as I am

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. HallOfGlory‏ @Hall0fGlory Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well duh, kids are expensive. Get rid of the kids and all of a sudden you have a lot more extra money and free time.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Morgan Ray Hess‏ @MorganRayHess Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ... this is the saddest thing I've ever read. I know it's satire and all, but Jesus...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. big mcthankies‏ @CornyCornyCorny Jan 9
        Replying to @MorganRayHess @TheOnion

        they’ve gone way darker than this lolololol

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Morgan Ray Hess‏ @MorganRayHess Jan 9
        Replying to @CornyCornyCorny @TheOnion

        It's not that it's dark; it's that it's really, really fucking depressing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Sheri Graegin‏ @minniemama68 Jan 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Really funny. Especially to adoptees.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marcus Jordan‏ @MarcusJ10784071 Jan 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's true because it's on the internet

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        For their own pleasure.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Of course, that’s how they can afford such a castle... First it’s this, but then when the wife finds out how much he got on the offers, it’s like that!!pic.twitter.com/PdAcQdRry9

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lalawethika Quanah‏ @NormalHorse Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What an ugly mansion!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ben‏ @ben_kelchner Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Richest couple in my childhood neighborhood adopted five Russuan siblings. That family probably the inspiration of this article & a couple scary movies.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken Lozon‏ @ken_lozon Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Kids cost a fortune, buy mansion, they will hate you when your old anyway

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Adan Garcia‏ @Culalam Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Figures..

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info