Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 9

    Report: Male Hair Loss 7 Times More Painful Than Childbirth https://trib.al/tlpBwuO pic.twitter.com/08hgzk93wX

    10:23 AM - 9 Jan 2018
    • 569 Retweets
    • 2,320 Likes
    • Jameson Diana Blok Jack Farchy Richard Marquez Gail Julie Wilson David Vigano Conner Howard brendan
    38 replies 569 retweets 2,320 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. jsf‏ @jsf35mm Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        you are obvious NOT a woman. Painful to the ego? OK.?/Perhaps!

        3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. El Cínico Amable‏ @CinicoAmable Jan 9
        Replying to @jsf35mm @TheOnion

        You... you know the onion is a satirical website... right?

        0 replies 0 retweets 52 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Яaymond‏ @Nizmond Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Real

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Heidi  🌊 🌎 🚀‏ @heidi_nine Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Actually the concept of “man flu” might be real. Something about men having less robust immune systems than women.http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/12/health/man-flu-study/index.html …

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joseph Gonzales‏ @joseph11ag Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Joseph Gonzales Retweeted The Onion

        I'm glad someone finally said it. #metoo   https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/950795102720593920 …

        Joseph Gonzales added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        Report: Male Hair Loss 7 Times More Painful Than Childbirth https://trib.al/tlpBwuO  pic.twitter.com/08hgzk93wX
        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Anthony‏ @PirateCat Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Hart4Film Finally someone recognizes the plight of the middle aged white man

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Brian Hawkins‏ @Brian_Hawkins Jan 9
        Replying to @PirateCat @TheOnion @Hart4Film

        Pretty sure baldness affects men of all races...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Anthony‏ @PirateCat Jan 9
        Replying to @Brian_Hawkins @TheOnion @Hart4Film

        White men have it the hardest, like always. Black men look amazing bald. #TheOnionIsSatireAndSoIsThisTweet

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Brian Hawkins‏ @Brian_Hawkins Jan 9
        Replying to @PirateCat @TheOnion @Hart4Film

        Yes, I know the onion is satire, but how was I supposed to know your tweet was also? These days, people in all sincerity make race a component to every insignificant issue.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Mary Fabulous‏ @MaryFabulous3 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Says a man...I did 23 hours first baby...weighed in at 9.4 lbs....any questions?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Dirk Jonker‏ @Danielmcgeary1 Jan 9
        Replying to @MaryFabulous3 @TheOnion

        i have a question, do you understand satire?

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. Mary Fabulous‏ @MaryFabulous3 Jan 9
        Replying to @Danielmcgeary1 @TheOnion

        Why in God's name would I ever respond to your question?..........satire

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sono Tom, QF'D‏ @SonorTy Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yeah, so what. blue balls is 16x as painful.http://trib.al/tlpBwuO 

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Chaton‏ @Kartos Jan 9
        Replying to @SonorTy @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/aDinLsO687

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Yasemin Gülsüm‏ @yasemin_gulsum Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @melisulug nothing has ever been truer

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They may be on to something here...pic.twitter.com/kESgGBtAfi

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Derek Eichenberger‏ @pwndbyagirl Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Female hair loss doubly so.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alexander Brodner‏ @testthewest123 Jan 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At least it hurts longer...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info