That’s the idea.
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Are they saying he just got married?
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Me in 1984 apparently.
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I love the optimism!

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I don't know why this makes me so sad
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There is going to be a last time for every activity you do. And you'll likely never know that it is the last time. Which is kind of a depressing thought.
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Sounds like a friend of mine
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I don't know where they got the thumbnail pic, but it makes the story even more hilarious!

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Wait... Do people normally have to buy more than one box?
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So this is implying he will never get laid
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Either he's about to die or live a long life and never get laid.
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that's so genius! i was racking my head trying to figure out what the joke was! thank you!
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No worries! I figure the onion is poking fun at his sex life, but death is an option too
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