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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 5

    Jared And Ivanka Holding Each Other At Gunpoint In Kitchen After Simultaneously Revealing Undercover Identities https://trib.al/6qQEj27  #OurAnnualYearpic.twitter.com/DQmwTFbWFu

    3:54 PM - 5 Jan 2018
    • 416 Retweets
    • 2,047 Likes
    • ella phant Chirasree Banerjee OldCrow🔹🌽 J Aaliyah six demons in a bag betsy perkins Peter LoPresti Speed McQueen
    29 replies 416 retweets 2,047 likes
      1. Jennifer‏ @JenHope24 Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/4ZDmRFQVmO

        0 replies 1 retweet 14 likes
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      1. Jeff Vigo‏ @BoogVigo Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What great parents they must be!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Mary Cotey‏ @cotey_mary Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This ad endorsed by NRA 😈

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Mollusk, 🐙 🎃cowry 🐚 🎃, blenny 🐟 🎃‏ @furmple Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They're not that cool.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Corlis‏ @CaseyCorliss Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I knew they were both #ruskies!pic.twitter.com/ouu84aF9xs

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Zobop Republic‏ @zobop_republic Jan 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I.T. - idiot Trump's. [🧠🎺]

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. General Manager‏ @firstvalue3000 Jan 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best one yet!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Undercover as in they are from under the same linens? At least from the male perspective.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jason Dahl‏ @realjdahl Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @bassamshawl it all makes so much sense

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        True identities: John and Jane Smith.... Hopefully both of them decide a relative needs to be their target instead of each other... Either that, or turning state’s evidence...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sorry, @TheOnion but that's too far out there even for you. A more believable story would be for them to hold each other at gun point over mutual suspicion of ratting the other out to Mueller in exchange for immunity.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dustin H Worthington‏ @Dustinharte Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's a great idea for a Mr and Mrs Smith parody.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Paula Bain‏ @spanielloving Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She's a robot and he's a weenie. No contest.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. AmperSandwich‏ @Amper_Sandwich Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is one bit of satire I wouldn't mind coming true. That would be the twist of the millennium

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🎃Prince 🎃of 🎃Spook 🎃‏ @JonathanIsakov Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i remember seeing this in a movie somewhere but i cant quite remember

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Boris and Natasha?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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