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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 5

    Study: 90% Of Bike Accidents Preventable By Buying Car Like A Normal Person https://trib.al/FC9n949  #OurAnnualYearpic.twitter.com/uCP6Kz97lk

    10:19 AM - 5 Jan 2018
    • 759 Retweets
    • 2,628 Likes
    • Kelly Andrew marilyn delay Stephen Perez Mike Pierzchalski James-o'-lantern Vera Eleanor Balazs AwesomeSamantha Uh, Scary-farms Official TankCityRay
    39 replies 759 retweets 2,628 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Louis Malfi‏ @LouisMalfi Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not remotely funny

        4 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. haunted tittyweed‏ @weebwine Jan 5
        Replying to @LouisMalfi @TheOnion

        You ride a bike instead of a car

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      4. Eric Leon‏ @Runtus_Maximus Jan 5
        Replying to @weebwine @LouisMalfi @TheOnion

        I got a chuckle seeing cyclists was the first word on his profile.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Norrlandsräven‏ @peanjo Jan 6
        Replying to @Runtus_Maximus @LouisMalfi @TheOnion

        And the picture showing that he had been in a bike crash? Oh, the irony...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Eric Leon‏ @Runtus_Maximus Jan 6
        Replying to @peanjo @LouisMalfi @TheOnion

        I can think of nothing less ironic than people who don't obey traffic signals havin accidents. I guess the ironic part is they always think it's someone else's fault.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. James Westfall‏ @iceyyywatch Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @FeitsBarstool

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Kyle Fitscher‏ @fitchconnolly Jan 5
        Replying to @iceyyywatch @TheOnion @FeitsBarstool

        Feitelberg works for the onion part time

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. James Westfall‏ @iceyyywatch Jan 5
        Replying to @fitchconnolly @TheOnion @FeitsBarstool

        Why is he living my best life?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Tavarris Spinks  🚲 🚐 🍁 🍂 🎃‏ @teevirus Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or by buying a horse like an abnormal person

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Then buy a bike rack and crash into another car with a bike rack.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Fruckdat‏ @FruckenFracker Jan 6
        Replying to @PeteyIsom @TheOnion

        Then watch the accidents rack up!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Stilton‏ @CraigJamesWeir1 Jan 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @amyalkon i know this is a joke but it sort of isn't and is a stat I'm sure you can use the next time cyclists get on your case for being sensible 😊😊

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Amy Alkon‏Verified account @amyalkon Jan 8
        Replying to @CraigJamesWeir1 @TheOnion

        Amy Alkon Retweeted

        Thanks -- so appreciate your supportive tweet. Sadly, the reality is this - see video. (Warning, gruesome.) https://twitter.com/invisimono/status/947360118156419072 …

        Amy Alkon added,

        This Tweet is unavailable.
        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. renyopd‏ @dhaakon Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        weak

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Emily Elizabeth‏ @e_curran2 Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Groundbreaking stuff! Would love to see a follow up study comparing the number of accidents that occur due to cyclists who are under the impression that their bike is a car?

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Smith‏ @Force2b_Mike Jan 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wouldn't 99% of all car accidents by preventable by riding a bike?

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply

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