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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jan 1

    Hungover Couple Unaware They Broke Up Last Night https://trib.al/xT7OuaQ pic.twitter.com/RVgB4eX0WL

    2:40 PM - 1 Jan 2018
    • 917 Retweets
    • 5,144 Likes
    • Claire Jablonski Liz simonne hannie Prince Natalie Trouw Ash Jake Barney
    33 replies 917 retweets 5,144 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Chris Space PVT Zeitz‏ @PrivateSnuffy Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Why are we no longer friends on Facebook?"

        1 reply 0 retweets 33 likes
      3. John Brownlow‏ @JohnBrownlow Jan 1
        Replying to @PrivateSnuffy @TheOnion

        Actually both kinda sorta aware but hoping the other has forgotten

        1 reply 0 retweets 17 likes
      4. Milton Adones Vieira‏ @mavadones Jan 1
        Replying to @JohnBrownlow @PrivateSnuffy @TheOnion

        I did not like it, Jesus loves you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. John Brownlow‏ @JohnBrownlow Jan 1
        Replying to @mavadones @PrivateSnuffy @TheOnion

        Actually we broke up but he forgot

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      6. Alane DeathClubRadioHost Ford‏ @auspjots Jan 2
        Replying to @JohnBrownlow @mavadones and

        This happened to me. But I had a seizure and forgot. Remembered a week later when he was nursing me back to health. What a mess.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. Chris Space PVT Zeitz‏ @PrivateSnuffy Jan 2
        Replying to @auspjots @JohnBrownlow and

        That is rough.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Alane DeathClubRadioHost Ford‏ @auspjots Jan 2
        Replying to @PrivateSnuffy @JohnBrownlow and

        You know it. Took another 4 months to get back out of it because... #SexDuh

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. The Coolness #RemoveRandomCrits‏ @timothyaugello Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is this a happy or sad story? I can't tell...

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Bill Parks‏ @HemiBParks Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Better than waking up with a hangover and finding out a week later you were married

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Christopher Gennari‏ @profgennari Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Married couple upstairs hoping this breakup finally sticks so they can get a peaceful nights rest on weekends. Discuss if they should mention shes been faking it for months.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Steve Vitoff‏ @SteveVitoff Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        thats why you should write things down

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. TB‏ @scarletgray Jan 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this happened to me

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Alane DeathClubRadioHost Ford‏ @auspjots Jan 2
        Replying to @scarletgray @TheOnion

        Thank you. I now feel better about having had it happen to me. Unless it was with you. In which case... Sorry.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Milton Adones Vieira‏ @mavadones Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I do not enjoy it! I did not like it, Jesus loves you.

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. Murphcakes‏ @murphtastics Jan 1
        Replying to @mavadones @TheOnion

        Hahaha! Jesus is hilarious

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Milton Adones Vieira‏ @mavadones Jan 2
        Replying to @murphtastics @TheOnion

        Yes, Almighty todo, bilieve Jim.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Marybeth Horn‏ @MarybethHorn6 Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Blackouts are even scarier than drunk texting. Laugh it off.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Oli‏ @StopOlafur Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @myrandapanda18

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Guido... yes, seriously. no relation to Sarducci‏ @FastFoodGuido Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh, she's well aware... she just rather stick around to make sure he's miserablepic.twitter.com/2HjPJmwAhK

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Janice Jones‏ @JonesJammerj Jan 1
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lol!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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